Spring is Here!

I LOVE this time of year! The world seems to come to life, with a renewed hope in the future! Turning Autism into Awesomism!

Is it really “Social” Part 1

   I read an article the other day that talked about how spending too much time on “Social media” can lead to depression…..this got me thinking about so many situations, frustrations, good times etc…. All attached to social media…This blog is going to be a 2 part. In part one I’m going to discuss 2 points that I don’t think are often discussed when online bullying is brought up. Second blog will be the positive sides to social media!

First let’s explore the negatives, I like ending on a positive note! ….there is the obvious the “cyber bullying” most people I talk to at one time or another have been a victim of bullying online. It’s sad and seems to be getting worse. This is real concern for me with Peyton, while I don’t excuse any bullying, I know kids, especially special needs kids, can have the hardest time dealing with bullies. Everyone always makes the comment…bullies are just insecure people…yes we know this..but it doesn’t make the hurt and pain less. I have found that many of the bullies are also people who tend to live in a delusional world. I have seen people who were bullies online, also have truly “online fantasy lives” They live on estates, they drive mid 6 figure cars, they own stables of horses, have/had unbelievable careers, are experts on EVERY subject etc….most people just chuckle and laugh at these people. I view it a bit different, as I have also seen many of these people be some of the biggest online bullies. My theory on it is, they are so unhappy they have to make up the “perfect” life and are afraid of exposure. While most of us know to ignore or just be amused by these people, many special needs kids and adults will take them at face value. Ask questions etc…this can and many times does unleash bullies to attack…I wish when people see bullies they would speak up, block and show support for the person who is being bullied. Since many of the bullies have built their “online lives” on fantasy, having reality called out on them may result in either they leave social media or stop.

Another group that I haven’t quite figured out is those who nonstop tweet at someone..it can be a celebrity, athlete etc…. Most of the time they get next to no response from the person, yet they seem to need this attention. It’s not only odd to me, it’s frustrating. I have a couple of thoughts..one, why not spend that time and or energy supporting a “cause” and help get the word out instead of bordering on cyberstalking. These people also many times bully others who do happen to tweet that the same person, as they seem to feel they “own” this persons time…I feel bad for people on the receiving end of the tweets as well. Many times they want to interact with many people,but that can almost be impossible. I’ve seen autistic teens and adults tweet at “celebrities” and then get bullied for doing so.. this really bothers me. I’ve actually gotten involved to show support.

I’ve heard people say, then just get off of social media… but I don’t think that’s the solution. Sometimes it’s a valuable outlet for people. Not only from a business  standpoint, but also an outlet for some who don’t have much outlet. Such as special needs, elderly etc…. I think the solution should involve in not giving bullies a platform. If people would block, unfollow or even call out bullies maybe it can make a difference. In my blog next week, I’ll discuss the positives to social media. There are so many positive things, sometimes they just seem to be outweighed by the negatives.

Que Sera Sera

Mark and I recently got rid of direct TV and got xfinity… one of main reasons I wanted to switch to xfinity is their classic TV channels. I love Classic TV shows. There are only a few things that make me happier than laying in bed relaxing and watching classic TV shows and movies. Last Sunday we had it installed, I was super excited! I couldn’t wait to watch METV & Antenna TV. I had it all planned how I was going to watch Hazel, My Three Sons, Donna Reed, Andy Griffith and more! As we explored the channels Mark came across one I hadn’t heard of, Decades TV. We looked at the guide and saw all the awesome classic shows! I was beside myself happy! I am going to have 3 channels I exclaimed! Last weekend they were having a Mary Tyler Moore  marathon. Then I saw an ad for what this weekends marathon was…. DORIS DAY!! I was beyond happy. I have always loved Doris Day. She is beautiful, classy, feminine but strong. She had her own identity and kept to it. In my opinion that is true strength! She to me is the definition what a strong woman truly is. I loved how she dressed, I even “mimicked” her style. Her love of animals showed me her passion to help others. The thought of 24 hours straight of Doris Day show  had me ecstatic. I was in the same room as her once, but didn’t have the ability to meet her. I’m still sad about that. 

There are so many things that come to mind when you think about Doris Day, but one of the most popular is the song Que Sera Sera! It’s the theme song of her show, as well as in the Hitchcock movie.. “Man who knew too much”.I love that song… The lyrics are very fitting to my life these days. When I was younger I had so many ideas where and how my life was headed. Even after I had my older three kids, I still had a “plan”. Once I had Peyton that changed. My plans were no longer important. What became important to me was Peyton and how I was and am going to do whatever I can to make his life the best it can be. I learned that plans aren’t what Peyton needs.. he needs flexibility, goals, love, Understanding and support. Each day can be a different challenge, and how we deal with those challenges also is important. While it’s true Peyton needs a certain amount of consistency and stability, he also needs me to stress less and stay calm. Mark always tells me stressing over what I can’t control does no one any good, least of all Peyton. I know he’s right and I’m working on it. I love Peyton with every fiber of my being and just want what’s best for him. I know in my head that a calm and destressed me is much better for him, than a worrier.

As I lay in my bed, this overcast Sunday, watching Doris Day and writing this blog… I’m making a promise to myself that the next time I get so stressed, I’m going to sing to myself “Que Sera Sera” because even though it’s just a song.. there is so much truth in “what will be, will be” thank you  Doris Day for once again showing me what a strong woman is!

Rainy days and Mondays


The last few weeks we have been having a lot rain and stormy weather. I have a love/hate relationship with rain! When I have a ton of work to do that requires concentration, I love rainy days. It forces me to hunker down and get things done. If it’s beautiful out, I think of a million reasons why I can’t sit and take care of what I need. I also love rainy days when I don’t feel well. It’s as if I can justify sleeping all day, watching classic tv and cuddling under the covers. On the opposite side, I hate, fear storms. I’ve always been afraid of storms, as a kid I was totally petrified of them. Now I’m more just slightly stressed by bad storms. Mark, on the other hand really loves storms. He opens all the blinds and watches them. I know that being in the house, there isn’t really a serious danger, but I still worry. I’m sure you’re asking yourself what does that have to do with autism? Just like everything else in our lives… this has a lot of parallels to autism.. at least with Peyton.

He now loves weather, he watches the weather channel, checks it on phone etc. He doesn’t mind rain, now that he’s older, and has learned to deal with storms, as well. When he was younger rain scared him, storms totally petrified him. When he was young we lived in Florida and he lived through several hurricanes. He fed off of my fears and decided they were horrible. If he even thought a hurricane or bad storm was coming he would get so upset and go into a full meltdown. Nothing we did would help him. We tried explaining storms to him, showing him online positive sides to storms etc, he still would get so stressed. I wasn’t sure he was ever going to outgrow his fear. This worried me because I didn’t want him as a teen or adult to be somewhere and a storm come. Say he was at a grocery store and a storm happened, if he had a full meltdown who knows what could happen. I remember people telling me.. “he’ll outgrow it” but I knew because he is autistic, he may not.

I’m not exactly sure how and when Peyton overcame his fear of storms, but he has. He now not only enjoys rain, he sees benefits to it, and he is fine during storms. He dealt with the Houston Flooding much better than I thought he would. In fact he was better than many others! Having Peyton resolve his fears of rain and storms has also helped me. I used to get tense when I knew a rainstorm was coming. His meltdowns weren’t always easy to deal with. I hate seeing him get that upset, especially since there is nothing I could do to change it. We’ve now settled into rain and storms come and go. We don’t feel the need to sing.. rainy days and Mondays always get me down… instead we can sing… our song 🎵🎶 “Turning Autism into Awesomism” 🎶🎵

He did it himself

We are honored to have a guest blogger this week. Jon Rubin, He is a husband, 4th grade teacher and a dad of 3. Jon’s son Sawyer is autistic, his blog will inspire you and touch your heart. Please follow him on twitter @autismdad603  as well as his website https://autismdadinthe603.com/


7:25 in the morning is a target. If letter A through Z goes remotely smooth than bullseye. If not, than the household can crumble like a game of Jenga.
This is the Autism that scares me. The unpredictability that can start off our day with an increased heart rate. Whether it be the non verbal looks I get from my wife, Kellie who looks at me from a distance as I watch Sawyer bang his hand on the ground because he can’t get his shoe on. Or the clock that just turned 7:10 and Sawyer hasn’t gotten dressed yet. Every second counts.
I’ll admit. I’m selfish here. I was up at a little bit before 4am. I have made it to the gym. I have already taken the dog out. I have already showered. If you’re noticing the trend of l’s here, than you are onto something.
The bulk of Sawyer getting ready falls on my wife. I tend to walk in as everyone is waking up. When everything seems calm, it is because I’m arriving at intermission.
I missed out on the screams at 6:30 when Sawyer wanted to find his own clothes. I wasn’t around to watch the refusal to put his pants on right side out. I also didn’t see the battle to help tie his shoes.
I only see the Sawyer at 6:50 who is eating his eggs at the kitchen table who is perfectly content.
Now this is what my wife and I have agreed to and what works for our family. However, it doesn’t make things easier. It doesn’t erase the target of 7:25.
Autism can mean a lot of things. In the morning I tend to think of it as a timeline. A timeline that if one doesn’t follow it the way Sawyer interrupts it than you may be in for a lot of hiccups.
The goal still exists regardless of the morning though. When the clock hits 7:20, we all know that for all of us to make it to our destinations on time is for Sawyer to be ready.
It doesn’t matter that we realize that the driveway is a sheet of ice at 7:23. It doesn’t matter the suggestions that we walk him out at 7:24. Sawyer wants to do this himself.
So we watch him fall on the ice. We watch him get back up. He will look back at us when his bus arrives. Target reached. In the waves that crashed inside the house, he made it himself. He did It himself. That’s Autism. That’s Sawyer.