Red-Angry Blue-Sad

We are so honored to have an amazing blogger as our guest blogger this week! She’s an amazing mom… Who openly discusses her life. My hope is that after you read her blog… You come away with the same emotions/thoughts  that I did.. we need more mental health help!!! People need to stop talking and start doing.. this is not a political issue, this is a human issue! Please check out her other blogs here http://thoughtswithn.blogspot.com/

Also, We have her books for sale on our website https://teamawesomism.com/

 

I remember the day that I saw a piece of work completed by my oldest son. He was 6 at the time. His class was learning about emotions, and had them associated with colors. The piece of paper asked them to identify the 2 emotions they most commonly feel, and draw it in the associated color. His was Red – Angry, and Blue- Sad.

 

I remember the tears that sprung to my eyes. The feeling of failure I felt. My little boy was always angry at this point.

 

I had always struggled with him, since the beginning, but now it was at a new high. The Police were now involved, as he had begun threatening his baby sister.

 

Oh, and I was 6 months pregnant. I had high blood pressure, so I was supposed to be relaxing.

 

There, in front of me lay the evidence of the state of my sons mental health. He was so angry, and so sad. He didn`t know what to say, or how to say it, so his anger dragged on, day after day.

 

This was such a hard time for all of us. I have scars on me from his intense temper, and I am pretty sure my daughter is emotionally scarred.

 

Despite struggling for so many years, and trying to get him help, I had failed. The counsellor agreed that this paper was slightly alarming for a little boy, and sent off the papers for a Psychiatric Assessment.

 

We waited.

 

We waited.

 

Months and months went by. While my son struggled.

 

So many days I just wanted to run away and disappear. I questioned my capabilities of being a mother. I questioned how I was going to raise another boy. I have never in my life felt so lost as what I did at this time.

 

To be honest, I am not even sure how we all made it through. Maybe it is just the power of love. I one day told my son very clearly, I know you are angry, and I will be here whenever you are ready to talk, but there is not anything you can do to me to make me stop loving you, or to make me give up on you. You are my son.

 

We got the call for the assessment a year after the referral was placed. A YEAR. A family in a crisis situation, and such a sad and confused little boy.

 

We declined the assessment at this point, because he had already been through three and he was tired of doing it. No one saw what we saw. His intense temper. His neediness for everything to be a very specific way. His amazing abilities with numbers, and recognizing patterns. No one saw it. They always just told us, he is a very bright boy.

 

I decided, rather than trying to change him, I was going to accept him. Accept him exactly how he is.

 

He is almost 8 now. I can`t believe so much time has passed since my feelings of hopelessness. He is in Grade 2 and an intense math whiz. He still struggles with his temper, but he is far less violent.

 

Now he talks to me. He tells me what is wrong. Then we can figure out how to fix it.

 

You may not always be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I sure didn`t when I was locked in my room, trying to protect the baby in my belly, and my 1 year old daughter. I could not see any light in my life what so ever. I wanted to run away.

 

The light is there. It will shine.

 

Love

N 💜

Wednesday Woman

Several months ago I put a blog out talking about how I was going to blog four times a week… I haven’t done very well with that at all. I’m sorry!

I could give excuses, and give reasons why I haven’t, but at the end of the day I just really haven’t done it and I need to be better at it.

One of my biggest shortcomings is I tend to put things off,and then I frantically try to catch up all at once… This doesn’t work well… Especially with my GAD, general anxiety disorder.

I have often wondered if I do this because of my  GAD, or if it’s just a serious personality flaw, and it makes my GAD worse. However; lately I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t matter… chicken or egg.. I need to be better organized! I need to follow through on things at the time.

Right now I’m juggling 1000 things… Being the wife of an oil guy… Who comes and goes and works many hours… Mind you,I’m not complaining I think I have the best husband in the world!

I’m a mother of four…that alone keeps me busy! 😁 And I wouldn’t have it any other way, I absolutely love and adore my children. Three of my children are adults, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t  in my life any less.

I always find it amusing when people say to me “but your kids are adults… What do you mean they take up your time?”  It’s as if because they are adults… They’re no longer in my life!  🤦‍♀️ Of course is usually comes from people who never had children.

If you’ve been following my blog you’ve also seen that I started doing a Soothing  Sunday Blog … Where I talk about what I do to decompress and destress. It’s essential that I do!.

My Wednesday woman blog is going to be more geared towards being a mom, a mom of a special needs teen, a mompreneur, a momblogger, a wife and most importantly a woman.

I know how important it is for me to take care of myself so that I am here for everyone else. I also know it’s extremely important for me to take care of myself for me!

My Wednesday woman blogs are going to be about how I juggle all the different aspects of my life, and still allow time for me! These are not meant to be instructional, rather more personal tips that work for me. They may or may not work for you, as we are all different.

I decided to start sharing this because I’ve had people say to me, how do you do at all? I always have the same response… I didn’t know I had any other option. I know I’m far from the only woman who feels this way every day.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions ethnicity’s etc. etc. women also have many different views. I find it somewhat disingenuous when women say that they are for women but disrespect women who disagree with them. Be it on politics, careers/stay at home, Homeschooling, married, single  etc. etc.

I truly hope you join me on this journey of Wednesday Woman blogs! As always thanks for reading my blog… Your support means a lot to me! I hope you get something from my experiences!  that can maybe help you with yours!

Please check out Peyton‘s website https://teamawesomism.com/

Hugs 🤗  and have an awesome day!

 

Why my GAD is my Monday Motivation

I still remember the day that I was diagnosed with GAD… (General Anxiety Disorder) I was going through a really rough time in my life… An ugly divorce, a very contentious custody battle, and so much more.

I was slipping into a really deep depression…  I knew I needed to get out of it,not only for myself, but most of all for my children. My children lived with me,and I was the primary caregiver, as well as provider.

I went to see my physician, and the first words out of her mouth were you have GAD. I really wasn’t very familiar with it at the time… But she knew it as soon as I described how I was feeling, and what I was going through.

The funny thing about it was…. as soon as she told me my diagnosis… I immediately  started to feel better. Part of the reason for that was… Someone actually listened and believed me!

I hadn’t shared with too many people how depressed I was. But a couple of them that I had shared it with told me “you’ll be fine… You’re just going through a rough patch, don’t dwell on it.”

I kept thinking to myself… I’m not dwelling on it by choice, I can’t seem to get past it. I would pace at night from Anxiety, and then be tired all day, which would cause even more anxiety.

I was in a vicious cycle and I didn’t know how to get out of it! My depression and my anxiety got worse and worse.

My doctor prescribed Lexapro… I felt better right away… Not because it really did that big of a difference… But because I knew I was on the road to getting better.

I also knew, that I wasn’t going to stay on the Lexapro. I wanted to be able to deal with my GAD through lifestyle changes.

I found a counselor… Who specialized in GAD, I told her I don’t want to stay on meds, I want to do this by lifestyle change. She was absolutely wonderful… And she helped me through this horrible time, and taught me so much.

When Peyton talk to me about and a few ideas he had for https://teamawesomism.com/…I absolutely loved the idea. For several reasons, but most of all because we were going to be creating a virtual community that actually listens and cares!

This really personally hit home for me a couple months ago… I was speaking with someone who was “mentoring me“… When I brought it up with him that I had GAD… he proceeded to inform me that it was “all in my head”.

While I don’t disagree with him on the surface …that it really is in my head… 😂😂… I found it to be very disrespectful. He told me people look for excuses for not doing things. At first I thought about going through my entire history, and thr fact that I was actually diagnosed with it, but then realized he didn’t care.

At first, I felt like I did years ago… And then I decided I actually feel sorry for him… And I hope no one close to him is dealing with serious stress and anxiety… I also became more motivated to be a voice for GAD .

Dismissing people‘s fears and anxieties, stresses and hurts is easy… Helping people with them is fulfilling. I’ve chosen to be there for others.

I decided to use his negative energy and turn it around…..My GAD is my Monday motivation!

The Glitches are Fixed!

On 19 September Peyton and I launched Team Awesomism  … Even though it was our “major launch” we knew that we were going to hit glitches. Rather than delay it any longer, and try to get everything fixed, we decided to go ahead and launch!

We can’t thank everyone enough for being so patient! And those who were able to sign up for a free email list and/or a membership thank you for trying several times!

A huge thank you and shout out to everyone who reached out to us saying that they were having trouble signing up! Even though we tried to troubleshoot it ahead of time, apparently things still happened.

I wanted  to put this blog out to make sure that everyone knows that we have fix the glitches and to go ahead and re-try and sign up! Should you have any more issues, please let us know

Also, I want to make very clear that there is a difference between the free email list… We will send occasional emails, just to kind of give you an idea of what we’re doing… We promise we won’t overload your inbox.

The membership which is a cost… Equivalent to that of a cup of coffee from Starbucks a month… Includes exclusive videos, a newsletter that will have interviews with not only team members, but awesome guests,as well as people who can really help!

Our focus for is to build a community. A community where you can share your passions, your dreams and come for strength when you’re going through a rough patch be at from stress, anxiety, bullies or just every day stresses.

It will be put to the community for help and support. We have lots of awesome  ways that we’re going to be doing this.

We have a private Twitter account set up that’s on private, only team members will be allowed on there ….where you can connect!

If you have a YouTube channel share it on there, we  will each follow each other, and support each other and share it on our other accounts!

We have an awesome Flipboard  magazine where we will share blogs,pictures, write ups, videos… all kinds of things from team members. Flipboard has 140 million readers… how awesome is it to get your stuff out?

Back to our videos for a minute, we are going to have exclusive videos from people who are professional fisherman, from golfers, from so many other walks of life that will help you find that comfort zone… Your happy place… That when you’re stressed you can go to and relax !

I think the most awesome thing about Team Awesomism is the Community! And we are so excited to have those who already joined us be a part of this awesome community!

Help us spread the word… Tell your friends, your family because together we can do awesome things… We can be there for each other and most of all help each other when we’re down!

Here is our website https://teamawesomism.com/

Autistic Teenpreneur Small Business

This blog is going to be a little different than my previous blogs. I’m going to be doing a short “interview” with Peyton  in this blog . He’s the star of this blog… And when I say star I mean the star!

First let me give you a little background. Peyton graduated from high school in June of this year. He did extremely well his senior year of high school, his dad and I were very proud of him.

We sat down with him, asked him what he wanted to do this year. We wanted him to be comfortable in whatever he did. We discussed several options.

I knew he wanted to do something with computers… He’s very fascinated with coding, and has taken some amazing coding classes. He wants to learn how to do apps, as well. However; what he wanted to really do with that skill set was really awesome to me.

Rather than me tell you… Here is my short “interview” with Peyton,  you can see it in his words!

1. If you could do anything, what would it be?

Be a Teenpreneur! 

I wanted  to start an online business for teens and adults, who feel like outsiders.

2. What do  you mean by outsiders?

People who don’t feel like they fit in, people who have autism, anxiety, GAD, ADHD, down syndrome and other special needs.

3. What are your goals for Team Awesomism? 

I wanted it  to be a supportive community. Where people can go find friends and support, but most of all where we connect and help each other when we’re going through rough times. The one thing you won’t find in our community is bullies. We won’t tolerate bullies

4.  What was your favorite part about building the website?

That I got to design it the way I wanted, and I learned a lot by actually doing it. I also really like that it talks about the community I’m trying to build.

5.  What do you want people to really know about Team Awesomism?

That it’s a Supportive Community! That we have all kinds of member benefits. We have a private Twitter account where only members can connect, a really awesome Flipboard magazine where your blogs, pictures, write ups and so much more will be highlighted and put out to the world! I’m really excited about the Flipboard  magazine because over 140 million people read Flipboard!

I want people to know that we are a supportive community that will be there when you go through rough times. That we will have all kinds of cool videos and other learning items to help people find their comfort zone’s and/ or help them with their comfort zones.

We are going to have experts like professional fisherman teach you how to fish better, and so so much more, I don’t want to give away too many secrets or people won’t join ha ha!

We decided to only charge the price of a cup of coffee …well maybe 2 cups, but isn’t that worth it to be a part of a supportive community?

Thanks Peyton!  I know how passionate he is about making this community work! And I as his mother and just as passionate to help him make it work.

We’d love your support! Check us out at and if you’re not ready to become a member yet please feel free to sign up for free email list so we can keep in contact now and then. We promise we won’t overload your email box.

As always, thanks for reading her blog and all your support! And Go Team Awesomism https://teamawesomism.com/