His Perspective

Today I had a long overdue phone call with a dear friend. We’ve been promising to talk for months, only to have life get in the way. We’ve been “catching up “ via text which really isn’t catching up.. it’s more like bullet points of an essay. One thing I really adore about him is we can pick right up where we left off and never feel like there was a “break”. I’ve known him for sometime and have always really enjoyed him. He’s very smart, extremely funny.. I’ve been in tears many times from laughter while talking with him. He is very straight forward, but one of the nicest guys you’ll ever know. I really enjoy my conversations with him because I vent, laugh, cry and learn and come away feeling better about so many things. He’s a world traveler and brings a perspective that I don’t always get elsewhere.

I love having a variety of friends who bring different life experiences and perspectives to our friendship. This friendship brings me both that I don’t get elsewhere and I deeply value that. While he doesn’t have children, he has extended family members who are autistic,and he is directly involved in their lives, so he can add thoughts, views and ideas that I don’t get elsewhere. He sees the “forest through the trees” but brings it having a direct connection to Autism.

Todays conversation didn’t disappoint, we not only caught up, we made plans for the future. There are times I feel like I’ve hit a wall with AwesomismMom, not that I can’t break down those walls.. but I need  a “sledgehammer perspective” from others who aren’t necessarily directly involved. It’s nice to get feedback on my blogs, thoughts, goals and direction for AwesomismMom. He was very encouraging today, as well as brought some awesome thoughts. I enjoyed hearing his perspective not only on my blogs, but also on how he sees the other side, from many of us who live every day with an autistic child. I think sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day of AwesomismMom and trying to make a positive impact, I tend to overlook ideas that can bring about my end goal. My ultimate dream is to be a positive network in many ways for autistic teens and adults. I have a plan… although I don’t share it with many… I work every day to achieve the goals I have set. I go through many ideas daily to help me try to achieve mine and Peyton goal of Turning Autism into Awesomism. I know what my end goal is… what I struggle with is how to get there. My conversation today was awesome because he doesn’t offer advice how to get there… he offers perspectives on why my end goal is so important.

I came away from our call energetic, as well a new vision of how I need to achieve my end goal.  Friendships are give and take and sometimes the person doing the giving may not even realize how much they actually gave. I know my friend reads my blog and I know when he reads this he will realize this is about him. I’m thankful for his friendship, but more importantly I’m thankful for his perspective! Sending him a big hug!

 

Our CMFRT Blanket

On March 29th, I got a special box delivered to our home. In the box was an awesome  blanket from a company called Cmfrt. I was so happy to get the blanket, because I wanted to see if it would help me reduce stress and sleep better, just like my Human Touch massage chair does. When I was little, I had trouble sleeping at night all the time, and that’s because of my autism.Whenever I’m stressed about a bad storm, a test on my schoolwork or something that stresses me in general, I need to de stress. When I’m calm I do much better on my schoolwork and stop stressing over other things too. Getting a good night sleep helps me not stress as much.

I really love this blanket It feels really soft and is really comfortable. I really like the colors too, it actually matches my new room colors! The colors are also comforting. I also like that it can easily be washed in the washer because I’m sure as much as I’ll use it, it will get dirty. What I love most about the Cmfrt blanket is calms me down, it helps me with my autism, because it feels like someone is hugging me tight. The first time I wrapped it around me it relaxed me. I like wrapping myself up in it and watch TV or read my IPad!  It helps me relax before I go to bed. I also use it at night if I need to sleep, sometimes I can’t sleep and this blanket helps me sleep.  I can also take it with me when we travel, because sometimes I really have trouble sleeping in hotels, this will help!  It’s so comfortable and not too heavy, I also don’t get hot under it, I hate being hot. This blanket is helping me turn Autism into Awesomism!

I shared the blanket with my Mom too. She gets stressed and then gets migraines, one night she needed to sleep but was stressed so I gave it to her, she said she slept really well. She actually didn’t want to give it back hahaha! The one night we had really bad storms and our dog Hazel, who is half dachshund and miniature pinscher, and a rescue dog from the animal shelter, even slept under it with me! She’s always nervous during storms and this really helped her calm down! I’m going to have to hide my blanket or I think my mom will take it!   Hahaha even my sister, who lives in Germany wants me to send it to her!

If you want or need a blanket that is really comfortable and helps get rid of the stress, anxiety and calm you down,especially if you’re autistic, you should really try Cmfrt, They have lots of great comfort blankets,You should also visit their website and look at their blankets I’m sure you will find one you love. They have different weights that will match how much you weigh. It’s usually about 10% of your weight. Here is their website. https://cmfrt.us/  Please Check it out and you can also follow them on Instagram! I know you will love their blankets just like we do! Just be careful that your family doesn’t try to take it from you! Just kidding. If you have any questions you want to ask me about the blanket, you can. I’m going to be doing a video too about the blanket and how I use it, so please watch for it. Thanks for reading my blog and I hope you share it

Peyton

Que Sera Sera

Mark and I recently got rid of direct TV and got xfinity… one of main reasons I wanted to switch to xfinity is their classic TV channels. I love Classic TV shows. There are only a few things that make me happier than laying in bed relaxing and watching classic TV shows and movies. Last Sunday we had it installed, I was super excited! I couldn’t wait to watch METV & Antenna TV. I had it all planned how I was going to watch Hazel, My Three Sons, Donna Reed, Andy Griffith and more! As we explored the channels Mark came across one I hadn’t heard of, Decades TV. We looked at the guide and saw all the awesome classic shows! I was beside myself happy! I am going to have 3 channels I exclaimed! Last weekend they were having a Mary Tyler Moore  marathon. Then I saw an ad for what this weekends marathon was…. DORIS DAY!! I was beyond happy. I have always loved Doris Day. She is beautiful, classy, feminine but strong. She had her own identity and kept to it. In my opinion that is true strength! She to me is the definition what a strong woman truly is. I loved how she dressed, I even “mimicked” her style. Her love of animals showed me her passion to help others. The thought of 24 hours straight of Doris Day show  had me ecstatic. I was in the same room as her once, but didn’t have the ability to meet her. I’m still sad about that. 

There are so many things that come to mind when you think about Doris Day, but one of the most popular is the song Que Sera Sera! It’s the theme song of her show, as well as in the Hitchcock movie.. “Man who knew too much”.I love that song… The lyrics are very fitting to my life these days. When I was younger I had so many ideas where and how my life was headed. Even after I had my older three kids, I still had a “plan”. Once I had Peyton that changed. My plans were no longer important. What became important to me was Peyton and how I was and am going to do whatever I can to make his life the best it can be. I learned that plans aren’t what Peyton needs.. he needs flexibility, goals, love, Understanding and support. Each day can be a different challenge, and how we deal with those challenges also is important. While it’s true Peyton needs a certain amount of consistency and stability, he also needs me to stress less and stay calm. Mark always tells me stressing over what I can’t control does no one any good, least of all Peyton. I know he’s right and I’m working on it. I love Peyton with every fiber of my being and just want what’s best for him. I know in my head that a calm and destressed me is much better for him, than a worrier.

As I lay in my bed, this overcast Sunday, watching Doris Day and writing this blog… I’m making a promise to myself that the next time I get so stressed, I’m going to sing to myself “Que Sera Sera” because even though it’s just a song.. there is so much truth in “what will be, will be” thank you  Doris Day for once again showing me what a strong woman is!

Rainy days and Mondays

 

The last few weeks we have been having a lot rain and stormy weather. I have a love/hate relationship with rain! When I have a ton of work to do that requires concentration, I love rainy days. It forces me to hunker down and get things done. If it’s beautiful out, I think of a million reasons why I can’t sit and take care of what I need. I also love rainy days when I don’t feel well. It’s as if I can justify sleeping all day, watching classic tv and cuddling under the covers. On the opposite side, I hate, fear storms. I’ve always been afraid of storms, as a kid I was totally petrified of them. Now I’m more just slightly stressed by bad storms. Mark, on the other hand really loves storms. He opens all the blinds and watches them. I know that being in the house, there isn’t really a serious danger, but I still worry. I’m sure you’re asking yourself what does that have to do with autism? Just like everything else in our lives… this has a lot of parallels to autism.. at least with Peyton.

He now loves weather, he watches the weather channel, checks it on phone etc. He doesn’t mind rain, now that he’s older, and has learned to deal with storms, as well. When he was younger rain scared him, storms totally petrified him. When he was young we lived in Florida and he lived through several hurricanes. He fed off of my fears and decided they were horrible. If he even thought a hurricane or bad storm was coming he would get so upset and go into a full meltdown. Nothing we did would help him. We tried explaining storms to him, showing him online positive sides to storms etc, he still would get so stressed. I wasn’t sure he was ever going to outgrow his fear. This worried me because I didn’t want him as a teen or adult to be somewhere and a storm come. Say he was at a grocery store and a storm happened, if he had a full meltdown who knows what could happen. I remember people telling me.. “he’ll outgrow it” but I knew because he is autistic, he may not.

I’m not exactly sure how and when Peyton overcame his fear of storms, but he has. He now not only enjoys rain, he sees benefits to it, and he is fine during storms. He dealt with the Houston Flooding much better than I thought he would. In fact he was better than many others! Having Peyton resolve his fears of rain and storms has also helped me. I used to get tense when I knew a rainstorm was coming. His meltdowns weren’t always easy to deal with. I hate seeing him get that upset, especially since there is nothing I could do to change it. We’ve now settled into rain and storms come and go. We don’t feel the need to sing.. rainy days and Mondays always get me down… instead we can sing… our song 🎵🎶 “Turning Autism into Awesomism” 🎶🎵

He did it himself

We are honored to have a guest blogger this week. Jon Rubin, He is a husband, 4th grade teacher and a dad of 3. Jon’s son Sawyer is autistic, his blog will inspire you and touch your heart. Please follow him on twitter @autismdad603  as well as his website https://autismdadinthe603.com/

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

7:25 in the morning is a target. If letter A through Z goes remotely smooth than bullseye. If not, than the household can crumble like a game of Jenga.
This is the Autism that scares me. The unpredictability that can start off our day with an increased heart rate. Whether it be the non verbal looks I get from my wife, Kellie who looks at me from a distance as I watch Sawyer bang his hand on the ground because he can’t get his shoe on. Or the clock that just turned 7:10 and Sawyer hasn’t gotten dressed yet. Every second counts.
I’ll admit. I’m selfish here. I was up at a little bit before 4am. I have made it to the gym. I have already taken the dog out. I have already showered. If you’re noticing the trend of l’s here, than you are onto something.
The bulk of Sawyer getting ready falls on my wife. I tend to walk in as everyone is waking up. When everything seems calm, it is because I’m arriving at intermission.
I missed out on the screams at 6:30 when Sawyer wanted to find his own clothes. I wasn’t around to watch the refusal to put his pants on right side out. I also didn’t see the battle to help tie his shoes.
I only see the Sawyer at 6:50 who is eating his eggs at the kitchen table who is perfectly content.
Now this is what my wife and I have agreed to and what works for our family. However, it doesn’t make things easier. It doesn’t erase the target of 7:25.
Autism can mean a lot of things. In the morning I tend to think of it as a timeline. A timeline that if one doesn’t follow it the way Sawyer interrupts it than you may be in for a lot of hiccups.
The goal still exists regardless of the morning though. When the clock hits 7:20, we all know that for all of us to make it to our destinations on time is for Sawyer to be ready.
It doesn’t matter that we realize that the driveway is a sheet of ice at 7:23. It doesn’t matter the suggestions that we walk him out at 7:24. Sawyer wants to do this himself.
So we watch him fall on the ice. We watch him get back up. He will look back at us when his bus arrives. Target reached. In the waves that crashed inside the house, he made it himself. He did It himself. That’s Autism. That’s Sawyer.