Wednesday Woman

Several months ago I put a blog out talking about how I was going to blog four times a week… I haven’t done very well with that at all. I’m sorry!

I could give excuses, and give reasons why I haven’t, but at the end of the day I just really haven’t done it and I need to be better at it.

One of my biggest shortcomings is I tend to put things off,and then I frantically try to catch up all at once… This doesn’t work well… Especially with my GAD, general anxiety disorder.

I have often wondered if I do this because of my  GAD, or if it’s just a serious personality flaw, and it makes my GAD worse. However; lately I’ve come to the realization that it doesn’t matter… chicken or egg.. I need to be better organized! I need to follow through on things at the time.

Right now I’m juggling 1000 things… Being the wife of an oil guy… Who comes and goes and works many hours… Mind you,I’m not complaining I think I have the best husband in the world!

I’m a mother of four…that alone keeps me busy! 😁 And I wouldn’t have it any other way, I absolutely love and adore my children. Three of my children are adults, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t  in my life any less.

I always find it amusing when people say to me “but your kids are adults… What do you mean they take up your time?”  It’s as if because they are adults… They’re no longer in my life!  🤦‍♀️ Of course is usually comes from people who never had children.

If you’ve been following my blog you’ve also seen that I started doing a Soothing  Sunday Blog … Where I talk about what I do to decompress and destress. It’s essential that I do!.

My Wednesday woman blog is going to be more geared towards being a mom, a mom of a special needs teen, a mompreneur, a momblogger, a wife and most importantly a woman.

I know how important it is for me to take care of myself so that I am here for everyone else. I also know it’s extremely important for me to take care of myself for me!

My Wednesday woman blogs are going to be about how I juggle all the different aspects of my life, and still allow time for me! These are not meant to be instructional, rather more personal tips that work for me. They may or may not work for you, as we are all different.

I decided to start sharing this because I’ve had people say to me, how do you do at all? I always have the same response… I didn’t know I had any other option. I know I’m far from the only woman who feels this way every day.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, colors, religions ethnicity’s etc. etc. women also have many different views. I find it somewhat disingenuous when women say that they are for women but disrespect women who disagree with them. Be it on politics, careers/stay at home, Homeschooling, married, single  etc. etc.

I truly hope you join me on this journey of Wednesday Woman blogs! As always thanks for reading my blog… Your support means a lot to me! I hope you get something from my experiences!  that can maybe help you with yours!

Please check out Peyton‘s website https://teamawesomism.com/

Hugs 🤗  and have an awesome day!

 

Why my GAD is my Monday Motivation

I still remember the day that I was diagnosed with GAD… (General Anxiety Disorder) I was going through a really rough time in my life… An ugly divorce, a very contentious custody battle, and so much more.

I was slipping into a really deep depression…  I knew I needed to get out of it,not only for myself, but most of all for my children. My children lived with me,and I was the primary caregiver, as well as provider.

I went to see my physician, and the first words out of her mouth were you have GAD. I really wasn’t very familiar with it at the time… But she knew it as soon as I described how I was feeling, and what I was going through.

The funny thing about it was…. as soon as she told me my diagnosis… I immediately  started to feel better. Part of the reason for that was… Someone actually listened and believed me!

I hadn’t shared with too many people how depressed I was. But a couple of them that I had shared it with told me “you’ll be fine… You’re just going through a rough patch, don’t dwell on it.”

I kept thinking to myself… I’m not dwelling on it by choice, I can’t seem to get past it. I would pace at night from Anxiety, and then be tired all day, which would cause even more anxiety.

I was in a vicious cycle and I didn’t know how to get out of it! My depression and my anxiety got worse and worse.

My doctor prescribed Lexapro… I felt better right away… Not because it really did that big of a difference… But because I knew I was on the road to getting better.

I also knew, that I wasn’t going to stay on the Lexapro. I wanted to be able to deal with my GAD through lifestyle changes.

I found a counselor… Who specialized in GAD, I told her I don’t want to stay on meds, I want to do this by lifestyle change. She was absolutely wonderful… And she helped me through this horrible time, and taught me so much.

When Peyton talk to me about and a few ideas he had for https://teamawesomism.com/…I absolutely loved the idea. For several reasons, but most of all because we were going to be creating a virtual community that actually listens and cares!

This really personally hit home for me a couple months ago… I was speaking with someone who was “mentoring me“… When I brought it up with him that I had GAD… he proceeded to inform me that it was “all in my head”.

While I don’t disagree with him on the surface …that it really is in my head… 😂😂… I found it to be very disrespectful. He told me people look for excuses for not doing things. At first I thought about going through my entire history, and thr fact that I was actually diagnosed with it, but then realized he didn’t care.

At first, I felt like I did years ago… And then I decided I actually feel sorry for him… And I hope no one close to him is dealing with serious stress and anxiety… I also became more motivated to be a voice for GAD .

Dismissing people‘s fears and anxieties, stresses and hurts is easy… Helping people with them is fulfilling. I’ve chosen to be there for others.

I decided to use his negative energy and turn it around…..My GAD is my Monday motivation!

Peyton….Autism….Perseverance

I came across this quote the other day “ Great works are performed not by strength but by Perseverance” Samuel Johnson

I immediately thought about Peyton and one of the things I admire most about him.. His Perseverance. He is adamant on Persevering, not necessarily the way you and I are, but in his own awesome way.

When he was 4, I was told he’d never read, write and probably not speak. While I was determined to help him in any way I could, I also accepted that if he didn’t read, write or speak that was okay. I was hoping he’d be able to do 2 of the 3… for his sake, not mine. I just wanted what was best for him.

i knew it was never going to be easy for him, but I also knew we were all in it to win it. My older kids and I were really committed to supporting Peyton in any way  we could. We were his biggest support system, and we joined forces for him!

Fast forward to June 2018… Peyton is  graduating  High School with all A’s and B’s! And guess what? He reads, write and speaks!  He is knocking so many obstacles out of the park everyday. His senior year of High School has been his best year! Trust me,his classes are difficult and intense. It seems the bigger the obstacle, the harder he fights.

He has been so determined to Not let things get in his way. This isn’t to say it’s always been easy, it hasn’t. He has had setbacks and difficulties. He’s lost faith in himself and others, then again who among us hasn’t?

One thing I’ve seen and touches me the most is, his perseverance. He keeps on and on,until he overcomes the negatives. Like I said before, it may not be the way we think it should be done… but that’s okay!

merriam-webster definition of perseverance is:

: “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition : the action or condition or an instance of persevering: steadfastness” 
no where in the definition does it say… there is only one way to achieve/overcome!
                                                                                    Peyton is my inspiration and drive for AwesomismMom, Team Awesomism…. and most of all he’s the perfect example of “Turning Autism into Awesomism” I’m so proud of him. I can’t believe he’s 18! He’s my “baby” knowing he’s out of High School excites and scares me.
We are starting  a new chapter in his book of life. I know there will be obstacles, challenges, successes and new achievements. Being an autistic adult isn’t something he or I have experienced before. We will face each day like we have the past… one day at a time.  I also know he isn’t facing his future alone. He has a strong support network around him, who truly love him!
I also know this…. no matter how difficult it may get… Peyton will persevere, because that’s what  Peyton does… he perseveres. As his mom ( and biggest cheerleader) I honestly couldn’t be prouder of him!

 

Peyton’s Inspirational Sign

The other day Peyton got this Inspire sign: he really loves it.  I was looking at it and realized the words on it, really described Peyton! He’s such an amazing and inspiring young man. I especially love the second part of the description… (2) “To awaken a particular feeling in somebody”.

He inspires, awakens etc… love, strength, patience, goals, effort, enthusiasm etc…. The best part of it is, he doesn’t even realize how much he inspires others.

I’ve said this many times in my blogs, how sweet he is. He really has a sweet heart and genuinely cares about others. He worries about others with such a pure and open heart. He doesn’t enter a “relationship” with preconceived ideas, thoughts or views. He takes everyone at face value.

I envy that about him, I wish I had that kind of trust and positive vulnerability … meaning he allows people to show him who they are, without deciding who they are. This isn’t to say he likes everyone… rather that he gives you the opportunity to be his friend. He’s optimistic that you are who you present yourself as . When he cares, he cares with a full and open heart.

It goes without saying that Peyton is the inspiration behind AwesomismMom…but even deeper than that … He’s the inspiration for “Team Awesomism Turning Autism into Awesomism” I’ve told him for years.. he has Awesomism not Autism. He’s the special one.. the rest of us in the family are “the same”  While we all know we are all individuals, Peyton is extremely special to us in so many positive ways.

I love watching Peyton when he’s in situations he feels comfortable in, like his Prom. He’s so happy, calm and engaged. He enjoys companionship, especially with others who take the time to connect with him.

He’s getting better about feeling comfortable in all settings. I’ve watched him go from a  shy, insecure, scared kid to someone who actually wants to go outside his “comfort zone”

The last 8 months have been a roller coaster… I’ve had some serious health issues. In the past Peyton would have stressed nonstop. Instead he faced the  situation at hand and dealt with it! We are so proud of him.

I’ve been stressing about our new project… “Team Awesomism Turning Autism into Awesomism” I sat down with him the other day with a LONG to do list. I asked him to look at it and tell me what he thought he could help me with, because I was feeling overwhelmed. He looked at me and said “ If we want to do this project, then we have to do this whole list, right?”

Remember (2): to awaken a particular feeling in somebody?

Peyton woke my feelings of strength, goals, determination, perseverance, drive……..I realized if Peyton doesn’t see obstacles then why should I? I’ve been so busy feeling overwhelmed and stressed about everything I HAVE to do for this project…. I forgot my own rule.. walk then run.

Peyton is right we have to get it ALL done, so instead of just having an overwhelming “To Do” list I need to have a To Do list … set by priorities.

Thank you Peyton… for once again being my inspiration….. You are a wonderful example of “Turning Autism into Awesomism” 💙

Watch for my next blog…. about our new and awesome project!! I think you will really be inspired. In the meantime here is Peyton’s twitter @PeytonAwesomism his Instagram PeytonsYearofAwesomism and his Flipboard ( which is his favorite) 😎 http://Check out my Flipboard magazine, Peyton’s Year Of Awesomism http://flip.it/KbJKTd