The Rocking Chair

*

I have always really loved rocking chairs, I think there is something soothing and calming about rocking… sitting and thinking.

I rocked all four of my children to sleep when they were little… Peyton loved it the most. He always love the motion of rocking… Even many times when I was standing, I would rock back-and-forth with all my kids, but especially Peyton.

Rocking has been proven to lower ,stress anxiety and calm you down.

I really don’t ever remember a time in my life… as either a child or an adult… that I didn’t have it rocking chair in my house. We even have rocking chairs on our back patio. There are some days when I’m extremely stressed, that I just go sit outside and rock in those chairs… and it really calms me down.

For centuries rocking chairs have been one of the most popular pieces of furniture. Many look at them as a very iconic piece of the American culture.

Some believe that it was Benjamin Franklin that invented the rocking chair… Although, others disagree.

The design of the rocking chair was actually inspired by rocking cradles that date back to ancient times.

So if you really think about it, it makes sense that the rocking chair would be calming… As it was used to calm babies when they were in their cradles.

I remember as a kid my grandmother sitting in her rocking chair and knitting… It was like an iconic American moment.

Many nursing homes and mental health facilities to this day have rocking chairs of some form, in there facilities.

There are all kinds of chairs, nowadays that rock… You see them in just wood, you see them in plastic, you see them in fabric etc. etc. so why am I writing an entire blog about a rocking chair?

Because one of the things associated with rocking chairs aside from having a very calming and therapeutic attached to it, they were used many times, and still are for front porch talks…

Where people come together… friends… family… neighbors and talk!

Talk about everything! about the weather, talk about life, talk about their families, about their work, about their likes, their dislikes etc.

I wish I could take America and put it in a big round circle of Rocking chairs and say let’s sit for a spell… Let’s grab a lemonade, or hot tea or cold tea, whatever you choose and TALK!!

While we’re rocking and calming down, let’s truly talk…. let’s open our hearts, open our ears and listen to one another and talk.

The days of people really getting together an conversing and accepting and caring about each other… seems such a distant memory.

I for one am not willing to just let that go… So I hope each and every One of you who is reading this will join me… Open your heart, sit back relax and talk…..with your neighbors, your family, your friends, even somebody you don’t know! but you don’t feel like you have much in common with… because let me tell you something, when you start talking to people… you’ll be amazed at how much you have in common.

Love, compassion acceptance and caring is what is going to carry us through these rough times, so let’s all grab a rocking chair.. sit down via phone, face to face… anyway that we can connect with other and rock in a rocking chair… and let’s start spreading positivity, love and kindness…

As always, thanks for reading my blog!

Here is an event Peyton and I will be hosting on June 29… we would love to have you be a part of it!

Lynne AwesomismMom

* Thank you Montgomery Bakehouse for letting us sit on the rocking chairs!

A LOVEly Garden

I absolutely love gardens, I have quite a few of them at my home… My favorite one that I started this year is a large wild flower garden.

I am much more interested in starting my garden from seeds and bulbs than I am going and buying flowers and planting them.

There’s something magical about planting the seeds/bulbs and watching them grow… It always amazes me how just a little seed, that you can barely see.. Can turn into something so beautiful and so amazing.

 

Nature for me is very calming, I not only love to have flowers in my gardens, but I also love to have cut flowers in my home. There is something so beautiful and uplifting about see beautiful flowers all around. I especially love it in the winter when it is cold, and in the summer when it honestly is almost too hot to go outside.

Many times we associate flowers with love… You see pictures of flowers when you’ll see people promoting love, or you see flowers on greeting cards… when you are sending them to somebody that you love.

Many of our most prominent “love” holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day etc. we really promote sending flowers… To someone to make them feel special.

With everything going on in the world right now… All the anger, all the hate… so many people just telling other people what to think, and how to feel and what to do… I’ve seen people point blank say if you don’t say this, you’re no longer my friend… That’s hurtful because we are all individuals and we all express ourselves differently.

This is especially upsetting to me because Peyton… Being an autistic adult, doesn’t always use words in the way that other people use them… He has seen some of this on social media, and it’s really hurt his heart.

The other day when I was outside in my garden looking at all the beauty and just trying to sit there and calm down… I thought you know we take these tiny little seeds and these bulbs and we plant them in soil, and we nourish them and we water them etc. etc. and they grow into these beautiful flowers.

Wouldn’t it be really awesome, if we as humans, stopped for a few minutes and realized that instead of planting seeds of anger and hatred and distrust… We stopped and listened to one another truly listened… Each one of us has a different life experience, and we can learn so much from that by sharing with others… truly sharing and listening and opening our hearts.

Imagine if we all decided to plant the seeds of love… Of listening… Of compassion… Of understanding… How much better we would feel… How much better we would be… And how much more beautiful the world would be!

I challenge each of you.. every time you see a flower.. to think about where can YOU plant that seed of love,acceptance, understanding, compassion and listening.

Together we can do better, together we can be better,but most of all together we can grow into something beautiful.

As always thanks so much for reading my blog!

Have an awesome and beautiful day!

Sunday Throwback: A Proud Profession

This is a Blog I put out May of 2017 and thought I would share again… this Mother’s Day… Also, please check out my Mother’s Day Podcast at the end of the Blog! Thanks so much and have an Awesome Day!

 

 

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a Mom…I remember when I was younger I wanted to have 6 kids, I came close, I had 4. I love the saying “Mothering is a proud profession”.  I love being a Mom, my kids have taught me so much and continue to do so. I remember when my oldest was born, thinking that I couldn’t love anyone more than I loved him. As each child was born, I felt exactly the same way, my love and devotion was there with each child. When Peyton, my youngest was born, my emotions were even stronger, including feeling a strong sense of protection as well. I could also tell that something was different. I couldn’t place my finger on what was different, but I felt it instinctual. His birth was a hard one, but so were my other kids. Peyton seemed to struggle with things that my other three kids did naturally. He never seemed to react to my smiles and one-on-one time, as my other kids had done. He never wanted to sleep in his crib, rather, he only wanted to sit in a swing and sleep. I noticed other differences with him too, but wasn’t sure exactly what they meant. When Peyton was diagnosed with Autism, all the pieces fell into place. My “momma bear” personality kicked into overdrive as well. Everyone who knows me, knows how deeply and unconditionally I love all my kids.  

I have watched Peyton struggle and at times my heart has hurt for him beyond words. He is such a sweet young man and his sweetness is what everyone notices when they first meet him. When other kids his age were talking, he wasn’t, and I would see the hurt and struggle in his eyes. He would get frustrated when he did speak as he couldn’t convey what he wanted to say. I remember when he would say his prayers every night and always end his prayer with “please help me talk better”. No matter how many times I heard him say it, I always teared up. Being a Mom I wanted to wave a magic wand and help him, of course I knew that wasn’t reality. Instead, myself and my three older kids spent countless hours helping Peyton, we bonded together and knew our common goal was, and is to be his support system. Peyton’s struggles became our struggles, we took on each one and united to help him overcome each bump in the road. Peyton showed strength taking on everyday issues that each of us so often take for granted. I tried to balance my wanting to fix everything for him, versus knowing he needed to learn on his own. While the struggles were real, so too were the successes. They may have come at a different timeline and effort level than my other kids, they were no less awesome. As his mom, I swelled up with pride as he accomplished each and every hurdle life has thrown at him.

Peyton is 17, soon to be 18, and I know he has many struggles still to come in his life. I also know this… he is an awesome young man and he wants to succeed in life. His idea of success may not be that of what others define as success, but that’s just fine with me. I have seen my older three kids show Peyton, patience, understanding and most of all, unconditional love. I have seen them defend him and others with Autism, without hesitation. My daughter worked at a law firm in which one of the attorneys was autistic. She not only befriended him, but helped others understand him better. This led to friendships and a better work environment for all. She has also defended autistic adults at other places she worked, when they were bullied. My third child works at an animal shelter and has experiences where he has helped volunteers who are autistic. This has helped with lowering the stress level for all involved. I could see how most employers could benefit from having some type of autism advocate in their workplace. As the mother of an autistic child, their future happiness and security is what concerns me most. Seeing my older children take their empathy for Peyton and show it to others with Autism, these actions makes the “momma bear” so proud. I love my kids and am proud of each of them no matter what they do in their lives, because at the end of the day they have each learned the most important lesson….how to love others unconditionally and without boundaries. I often worried that having me being so focused on Peyton would make them feel left out, or angry that we couldn’t do some of the things other kids were doing. I was a single mom for many years and my older kids had to “step up” and take on responsibilities that many their age didn’t. I now see that those worries were unfounded. They have each grown into caring and responsible adults, Being their mom certainly merits the saying “Mothering is a proud profession”

Also, here is the latest episode of my podcast on Anchor: Cup of Awesomism selfcare Autism & Anxiety: Mother’s Day.

My Anyway Friend

“ My anyway friend” I heard that term for the first time in December… I was laying in bed for several days binge watching the show, Private Practice…It’s not like me to basically stay in bed for a few days.

This time I had a really good reason.. I’m trying to work my way through my grief. One of my oldest and dearest friends… Passed away suddenly… I know for a fact she’s in a better place because Lisa lived her faith, Walked her faith and shared her faith.

I love the definition of an “anyway friend”… They know everything about you and they love you anyway… That was Lisa to a T!

Lisa didn’t have the easiest of lives, but she made the best of everything she had. She was a friend that everyone wants, an few are blessed to have.

I could give 100 stories of who Lisa was, but I’m gonna give you my favorite…

10+ years ago I was going through a really difficult divorce, I was a single parent of four kids …one being autistic… I was trying to work 40/50 hours a week,on top of many other things, but I hit my wall.

I was having a really rough time emotionally and mentally. I was living in Northern Virginia at the time, and Lisa was still in Florida… That’s where we had become friends.

I called her and told her that I was going to be coming home to Florida, to see the doctor.

I asked her if she would please meet me at the doctors office… Because I was afraid to go alone, she said no she was busy. This really hurt my feelings, because it wasn’t the way Lisa was. I reminded myself she was going through her own divorce.. so even though it hurt me, I knew she must have had a good reason.

I drove home and I went to see the doctor… That’s when I was diagnosed with GAD… General Anxiety Disorder.

After some time with the doctor, I walked out into the lobby… I felt a little better, because I felt like I knew what was wrong with me, and now I had to fix it.

There was Lisa standing in the lobby. I burst into tears and said I can’t believe you’re here. She said I’ve been sitting in the parking lot across the street for two hours. I wanted to make sure that you were going to come to the appointment, if you didn’t I was going to go find you and drag you here.

She then went on to say, I also knew that if I met you here, you would look at me as your safe haven… Your rock…and you would talk yourself out of going in and getting the help you needed.

She was 100% correct! she knew me like the back of her hand. That’s who Lisa was. She was my rock… she kicked me in the butt when I needed it, and she loved me unconditionally.

I miss her so much words can’t express. She was an amazing woman, mother, grandmother… Sister… Daughter.. but most of all she was my “anyway friend”.

She truly was that friend who knew everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly and loved you anyway. She didn’t just talk it, she walked it… just like her faith. I would give anything to have 30 minutes with her again.

I wanted to write this blog and put it out on Valentine’s Day… Because she will always be in my heart. I miss you lees.. and I love you…

Until we see each other again, I promise I will be as awesome of an “anyway friend” to others as you were to me…❤️💔

Love is a Verb

Love is a verb… I love this phrase when love is portrayed in an unconditional way, these days it seems to be rare!
Love is something we really tend to reflect on during the Holidays season!

Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally. That is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent. Most often they don’t have a break from the stress. Their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back always.

Not all autistic kids share the emotion, no connection of love, however; many do… it isn’t true that most don’t show Love…

That said I consider myself lucky. Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words I love you from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it I cherish it in a way I can’t describe.

I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally. They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, But I also know that with mine, marks and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine.

Love can be shown in so many different ways… it isn’t always just by saying it. It can be by doing even the smallest gestures…

In our home we believe in the saying “love is a verb” and we live it! I would love to hear from you… You’re awesome stories about how love is a verb in your life.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog…

Hope you are enjoying our 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays!

Have an awesome day