Throwback: Reflect Not Deflect

I thought this was a good Throwback Thursday Blog….. I see so much hate and Bullying daily about EVERYTHING! I wish people would take time to reflect… spread kindness.. respect others OPINIONS… and look at themselves and ask are they being kind? are they being Hypocrites? people have a right to disagree, without being labeled and libeled……

 

 

Sunday night in the middle of the night my oldest son started texting me, I kept hearing Luke Combs text tone over and over. You see I have one of his ringtones attached to my son’s number. Luke is my favorite country singer and my son reminds me of him. As much as I love hearing Luke’s songs, I wasn’t happy that my son was texting over and over so late.

I grabbed my phone to see what was so important. Of course as soon as I read his texts, my heart broke. He was letting me know about the senseless murder of people at a Country Music fest, which Luke Combs actually happened to be performing at.

I thought to myself once again Hate rears it’s despicable head. I started watching the news and looking on social media, another coward had decided to shoot innocent people. I will never understand how people can be so full of hate.

I felt so helpless and full of hurt as I watched the footage. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I laid in bed watching classic TV to try to calm down. I knew I was going to need to talk with Peyton when he woke up, about once again about how evil people can be. I feel like I am always having this discussion.

We have talked with him about bullies and people who choose to deflect their issues rather than reflect, but mass shootings aren’t easy to explain. Peyton is very sweet and gentle and doesn’t understand why people are so mean.

I really don’t have words for this latest display of hateful violence. Daily I see people attacking each other on twitter because they disagree. I started calling it slanderous bullying.

Peyton has asked me several times why people have to be so mean just because they don’t like who someone voted for. I’ve tried to explain to him that many times people take it as a personal attack against their views,rather than everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I really am on my last nerve with some of the offensive & slanderous “name tags” being put on people.

It’s a bit puzzling to me how people can sit on social media and name call, finger point and make “threats” then say they disdain bullies. This justification of anything goes because someone else said something you disagree with HAS TO STOP!

My prayer and hope is that people look inside of themselves, instead of deflect.

We can’t control what others say & do, but we can control ourselves.

If we choose to not play the game of verbal violence, maybe just maybe others will stop as well. Let’s all make a vow to tone down the rhetoric. While words are only words, they can lead to more.

I hope we can return good for evil, reflect not deflect, open our hearts and minds, disagree with respect and support causes not agendas! While this won’t stop evil, it’s a great start and we need to start somewhere because if we don’t I am not sure what will happen.

Love is a Verb

Love is a verb… I love this phrase when love is portrayed in an unconditional way, these days it seems to be rare!
Love is something we really tend to reflect on during the Holidays season!

Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally. That is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent. Most often they don’t have a break from the stress. Their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back always.

Not all autistic kids share the emotion, no connection of love, however; many do… it isn’t true that most don’t show Love…

That said I consider myself lucky. Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words I love you from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it I cherish it in a way I can’t describe.

I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally. They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, But I also know that with mine, marks and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine.

Love can be shown in so many different ways… it isn’t always just by saying it. It can be by doing even the smallest gestures…

In our home we believe in the saying “love is a verb” and we live it! I would love to hear from you… You’re awesome stories about how love is a verb in your life.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog…

Hope you are enjoying our 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays!

Have an awesome day

Throwback: My hero by Peyton

I thought since we are doing the 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays… and it is Throwback Thursday…. what better time than now to bring out this blog from 4 years ago! The Holidays are a time that we reflect on the things that we are thankful for… People we love… and what unites us! I think this blog is truly a great example of all those things. Every once in awhile someone comes into your life, that truly makes a difference. Everett Dawkins is one such person. I hope you enjoy this blog… and as always, thanks for reading and Hope everyone has an awesome day!

 

 

 

I’m 16, I’m autistic, and I love sports. 2 of my most favorite sports are Football and Basketball.

My favorite teams in NFL are Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. My favorite teams in NBA are Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Orlando Magic and Golden State Warriors. My favorite Colleges are Florida State Seminoles and Texas A&M Aggies.

I always cheer for FSU because all of my family are FSU fans. My cousins, Troy and Jodie both went to FSU. I cheer for Texas A&M because that’s where my stepdad, Mark got his master’s
degree. I do sometimes cheer for TCU because Mark’s dad went there.

My favorite team is FSU football, I am very lucky because I have a buddy who went to FSU. He played football for FSU and later became a pro and played for several teams in NFL, Everett Dawkins, also known as Big E. We call him Big E because he is huge and hard as a rock. He talks to me on E-mail, text messages and Twitter. He always remembers my Birthday, and that means a lot to me.

I also know Daniel Glauser, who also went to FSU and played football. He also follows and talks to me on Twitter, he is my friend. Both Everett and Daniel are very nice and they would never treat me like I’m autistic.

Although, I don’t have many friends because I’m autistic, and I don’t talk very well, but Everett thinks I’m cool, and he really cares about me. Everett teaches himself how to become a better player in Football. Everett started the foundation called Underdog Kids.

I am currently working on a book for it, and it’s about what is like to be an underdog. The book is also about me and my youth group when we went bowling.

Everett makes me feel safe, and he is like a big brother to me. Everett teaches me that it’s okay to be different and to be an underdog. He encourages me to exercise because I needed to get stronger and have more energy.

On October 5th, I went to the Fall Festival, and I won the medal for the horse race, because I ran fast, I’ve been exercising for a year so that I have more energy. Everett taught me that I may not be great at talking or sports, but I matter.

I love Everett because he makes me feel like I can do anything, even though I am autistic. Many people want to be friends with him, because he plays football and is so nice, but he chooses to be friends with me.

When something good happens and I tell him, he always makes a big deal out of it. I am so happy he chose to be friends with me and my family!

I’m glad he started the Underdog Kids because it will help kids feel better about themselves. I hope that it becomes really big so lots of kids can get support. I wish more Sport stars were so nice and cared about Autism and would help autistic kids. I am so glad Everett does, because he made a big difference in my life.

The Park Bench

I wrote this piece several years ago for my book… I read it every so often and I remind myself it will be Okay.

There are times I really do worry about what is going to happen to Peyton, after I am gone… After my husband is gone… I know he has three older siblings, and I know they love him unconditionally… But I still worry.

I worry that I’m not giving him enough in his life… There’s so many things parents of adult children with autism, worry about… We don’t always talk about them… But they are very real and in our mind, and in our thoughts and in our hearts…

When I get really stressed about it, I read this piece… And I remind myself Peyton is not alone… Rather he is surrounded in love, and I have that faith that whether I’m here or gone… That love Will stay around him.

I can only do what I can do and plan for his future.Stressing isn’t going to help…planning is.

So as we celebrate this holiday season and we come to the end of the year where we all make our New Year’s resolutions… Let’s each and everyone of us pause, and realize what is the most important… That we are there for those who need us, and we surround them with love.

I see a park bench alone, no one pays attention to it. It reminds me of my son… You see my child is autistic, he fights battles every day I can’t even imagine. As I see the park bench all alone even though there are people everywhere.. I realize how my son must feel. Connecting with others isn’t always easy for him, my heart hurts… But I also become more determined to help him. I look around me and I see the beauty of nature that surrounds the bench. It soothes me and heals me… There are so many wonderful things about nature… I am re-invigorated as I walk away from the park bench. I look back at it sitting empty, I stop and smile… As children run up to it and compete to all sit on the bench. It’s at that moment, that I suddenly realize my son will be fine… as he really isn’t alone… He has us, and we love him unconditionally.. We see his strengths.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog and for following us on our 45 Awesomism days of the holidays. Without everyone’s support we wouldn’t be able to accomplish the things that we are. I hope you’re enjoying it and we look forward to “talking” to you again tomorrow!

have an awesome day

Giving Back Tuesday

This is a very special time of year! It is also the time when we can and should give back… if we can! it doesn’t always have to be in terms of money! it can also be with our time!

here are a few of our favorites!

I love this idea of writing letters to our veterans! You van either do it through Lowes or on your own!

We have all seen the giving trees! these are awesome and can help so many families!

I saw this at our church and absolutely loved this idea!there are so many places that could do this, Neighborhoods, Churches, schools etc..

There are so many Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and other places of worship that need both money and manpower at this time of the year!

Small Foundations REALLY need your Support! This is my favorite! You can go to my store page and help them as well as go straight to UnderdogkidsFoundation and donate! Or choose a foundation of your own!

Super easy… drop money in the kettles and help feed the homeless

Don’t forget animal shelters! they need volunteers, dog walkers etc… etc…

I hope we have given you some awesome ideas as well as inspired you to give back!