Love is a Verb

Love is a verb… I love this phrase when love is portrayed in an unconditional way, these days it seems to be rare!
Love is something we really tend to reflect on during the Holidays season!

Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally. That is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent. Most often they don’t have a break from the stress. Their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back always.

Not all autistic kids share the emotion, no connection of love, however; many do… it isn’t true that most don’t show Love…

That said I consider myself lucky. Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words I love you from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it I cherish it in a way I can’t describe.

I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally. They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, But I also know that with mine, marks and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine.

Love can be shown in so many different ways… it isn’t always just by saying it. It can be by doing even the smallest gestures…

In our home we believe in the saying “love is a verb” and we live it! I would love to hear from you… You’re awesome stories about how love is a verb in your life.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog…

Hope you are enjoying our 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays!

Have an awesome day

The Park Bench

I wrote this piece several years ago for my book… I read it every so often and I remind myself it will be Okay.

There are times I really do worry about what is going to happen to Peyton, after I am gone… After my husband is gone… I know he has three older siblings, and I know they love him unconditionally… But I still worry.

I worry that I’m not giving him enough in his life… There’s so many things parents of adult children with autism, worry about… We don’t always talk about them… But they are very real and in our mind, and in our thoughts and in our hearts…

When I get really stressed about it, I read this piece… And I remind myself Peyton is not alone… Rather he is surrounded in love, and I have that faith that whether I’m here or gone… That love Will stay around him.

I can only do what I can do and plan for his future.Stressing isn’t going to help…planning is.

So as we celebrate this holiday season and we come to the end of the year where we all make our New Year’s resolutions… Let’s each and everyone of us pause, and realize what is the most important… That we are there for those who need us, and we surround them with love.

I see a park bench alone, no one pays attention to it. It reminds me of my son… You see my child is autistic, he fights battles every day I can’t even imagine. As I see the park bench all alone even though there are people everywhere.. I realize how my son must feel. Connecting with others isn’t always easy for him, my heart hurts… But I also become more determined to help him. I look around me and I see the beauty of nature that surrounds the bench. It soothes me and heals me… There are so many wonderful things about nature… I am re-invigorated as I walk away from the park bench. I look back at it sitting empty, I stop and smile… As children run up to it and compete to all sit on the bench. It’s at that moment, that I suddenly realize my son will be fine… as he really isn’t alone… He has us, and we love him unconditionally.. We see his strengths.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog and for following us on our 45 Awesomism days of the holidays. Without everyone’s support we wouldn’t be able to accomplish the things that we are. I hope you’re enjoying it and we look forward to “talking” to you again tomorrow!

have an awesome day

Red-Angry Blue-Sad

We are so honored to have an amazing blogger as our guest blogger this week! She’s an amazing mom… Who openly discusses her life. My hope is that after you read her blog… You come away with the same emotions/thoughts  that I did.. we need more mental health help!!! People need to stop talking and start doing.. this is not a political issue, this is a human issue! Please check out her other blogs here http://thoughtswithn.blogspot.com/

Also, We have her books for sale on our website https://teamawesomism.com/

 

I remember the day that I saw a piece of work completed by my oldest son. He was 6 at the time. His class was learning about emotions, and had them associated with colors. The piece of paper asked them to identify the 2 emotions they most commonly feel, and draw it in the associated color. His was Red – Angry, and Blue- Sad.

 

I remember the tears that sprung to my eyes. The feeling of failure I felt. My little boy was always angry at this point.

 

I had always struggled with him, since the beginning, but now it was at a new high. The Police were now involved, as he had begun threatening his baby sister.

 

Oh, and I was 6 months pregnant. I had high blood pressure, so I was supposed to be relaxing.

 

There, in front of me lay the evidence of the state of my sons mental health. He was so angry, and so sad. He didn`t know what to say, or how to say it, so his anger dragged on, day after day.

 

This was such a hard time for all of us. I have scars on me from his intense temper, and I am pretty sure my daughter is emotionally scarred.

 

Despite struggling for so many years, and trying to get him help, I had failed. The counsellor agreed that this paper was slightly alarming for a little boy, and sent off the papers for a Psychiatric Assessment.

 

We waited.

 

We waited.

 

Months and months went by. While my son struggled.

 

So many days I just wanted to run away and disappear. I questioned my capabilities of being a mother. I questioned how I was going to raise another boy. I have never in my life felt so lost as what I did at this time.

 

To be honest, I am not even sure how we all made it through. Maybe it is just the power of love. I one day told my son very clearly, I know you are angry, and I will be here whenever you are ready to talk, but there is not anything you can do to me to make me stop loving you, or to make me give up on you. You are my son.

 

We got the call for the assessment a year after the referral was placed. A YEAR. A family in a crisis situation, and such a sad and confused little boy.

 

We declined the assessment at this point, because he had already been through three and he was tired of doing it. No one saw what we saw. His intense temper. His neediness for everything to be a very specific way. His amazing abilities with numbers, and recognizing patterns. No one saw it. They always just told us, he is a very bright boy.

 

I decided, rather than trying to change him, I was going to accept him. Accept him exactly how he is.

 

He is almost 8 now. I can`t believe so much time has passed since my feelings of hopelessness. He is in Grade 2 and an intense math whiz. He still struggles with his temper, but he is far less violent.

 

Now he talks to me. He tells me what is wrong. Then we can figure out how to fix it.

 

You may not always be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I sure didn`t when I was locked in my room, trying to protect the baby in my belly, and my 1 year old daughter. I could not see any light in my life what so ever. I wanted to run away.

 

The light is there. It will shine.

 

Love

N 💜

The Unconditional Love of a shelter dog

Both Mark and I love animals…so when my third child started working at the local animal shelter, I knew we would end up adopting at least one animal! I have always had pets of one kind or another….as a kid I had gerbils, dogs etc….

At one point or another…when my older kids were younger we went from dogs to cats …..we always seemed to have a pet around.

I loved having dogs and cats and that rubbed off on my kids. My third child has a real passion for animals and has the perfect temperament for the career he has chosen.

The first dog that we adopted from the shelter, was Tex. I absolutely loved Tex from the first day I saw him. He’s a Bernese Mountain dog mix, and has the sweetest temperament of any dog I’ve ever had.

Tex was young when we got him, he had been neglected and abused. It broke my heart! I remember seeing him in the cage at the shelter, his eyes looked at me and said “please help me!”

We didn’t take him the first time we saw him. When we went back the next day to get him, someone was adopting him. It broke my heart. 💔

I really didn’t feel like adopting a dog that day, because I really want Tex. So my husband and I decided to go back the next day. Guess who was there?!? Yes, TEX!

The people had returned him, and this was Tex’s  third return so he wasn’t long for the shelter, if you know what I mean. There was no way I was going to allow that to happen.

Needless to say, Tex came home with us that day, and has been a very loved member of our family ever since!

Tex has been with us now for over four years,  I never regret getting him from the shelter! He’s such a good dog and so loving.

When Peyton was young he was scared to death of dogs. He would have a meltdown if a dog came to close to him. It wasn’t until about six and a half, seven years ago that he started to actually not be afraid of dogs.

When we first brought Tex home I could tell he was a little afraid of him, partially because Tex is such a big dog. Thank goodness Tex has such an easy-going disposition.

As the years went by Peyton became more and more attached to Tex……And it’s so cute to see them now such big buddies!

Peyton feeds Tex, walks him and is his basic caregiver. It was so cute when Peyton would be doing his schoolwork, Tex would be laying by him on the floor.

What I love most, seeing how Peyton went from being so scared of dogs, that he would have meltdowns… to him having Tex as his  emotional support  dog.

I’ve so often thought about the day at the shelter, when Tex looked at me almost to say help me… And smile and think how much he helped us. His unconditional love for Peyton, and Peyton’s unconditional love for him is such an awesome thing!

Never underestimate the love of a shelter dog! Please visit your local animal shelter,  there are so many animals waiting to be loved, but more importantly to love you unconditionally!

Adopt Don’t Shop!

https://www.aspca.org/

http://www.humanesociety.org/

 

 

Blessed Easter Weekend

Have a beautiful Good Friday and a Very Blessed Easter Weekend! There is nothing more beautiful than Unconditional Love! Let’s vow to spread Love to Everyone!