Anxiety and Me

We are so honored to have an awesome guest blogger this week! His name is Jay Cator… He blogs about a lot of interesting subjects. I asked him to share his journey with anxiety, with us! I absolutely love this blog, and I hope you do as well! Check out his contact information at the end of the blog! Please give him a follow and show support. Thanks for reading 💜

 

 

Anxiety, a word I have only ever heard at a distance. I never knew what it meant or how it effected people. I’ve always been different to others around me. Ever since I was a late teen, I over thought everything, even to the point where I would cancel plans to stay at home, in my safe place. I worry about every situation, by far my biggest flaw. I have always thought negative of myself and when certain scenarios popped up that could effect my life, the negative always won. I faced rejection constantly. I always shake at confrontation and avoided any situation that could lead me to the slightest harm.

Relationships and friendships followed in similar pattern. Dating I would face rejection at the first hurdle, bad first dates and hate. When I successfully find someone, I was felt like I was not good enough. Like they could do better, have someone who would give them a better life. I would worry constantly. Friends would come and go. The ones who leave I would never hear from again. Used for my kindness and care, it something I got used to.

My world change however when I met my last partner, someone who had anxiety and suddenly I understood. She opened my eyes to what anxiety was. I looked it up and spoke to a doctor and boom. Everything I thought was just me, a character flaw, was all explained. Unfortunately we split recently, more a break as we deal with various issues. But without her I would still be thinking, “why am I so different?” It all made sense. Why I have been, who I have been, has been explained.

I have always had ways of stopping me thinking, stop me worrying about every situation. I would play Xbox, using them to zone myself out into a different world. If that didn’t work, I sit in the corner, headphones in listening to my favourite songs. More recently, I have started writing, which has lead to my blog. Seeing people reading what I have to say and positivity has helped me massively recently. I start to feel I can achieve something, I’m not a failure, I can get better. I also find that following my favourite sports helps.

I have some really close friends that have helped me all these years and I feel very lucky that they are all still there. They all support me in different ways. My family are also a big support for me. I have love around me. I am truly lucky to have this support network, that will never be underestimated.

My biggest advice? Every day is different, so take life as it is every day. Find what comforts you, no matter how big or how small. When you get a victory, no matter how small, celebrate it. Shout it out to the world.

Thank you AwesomismMom for inviting me to write about me. I am honoured. Thank you all for taking the time to read.

Please follow and support Jay!

Blog: http://beardedigor.wordpress.com

Twitter: @stealthemgaming