Light in the Dark Days

I am so happy to have Jay as our guest blogger again! I absolutely love his writing! His blogs are from the heart…. his honesty about his anxiety is refreshing… please follow him on twitter… @stealtheMGaming  as well as his blog….https://beardedigor.wordpress.com/
As I sat on the bus home, headphones in and music blaring, I find myself reflecting on my last few days. These last few days were some of my worst mentally for me. But I take a deep breath and realise a tide is turning.
It all started last Wednesday. I woke up just feeling down. I wasn’t my usual self. Was it the lack of sleep for another night, the humidity or my anxiety. All I know is something is different. I get through work with few problems. Not feeling too bad but I was excited to see my friends for the night.
Thursday however was a different matter.
I spent the whole day shut off. I went to work as normal. But I wasn’t myself, I didn’t talk to anyone, I want smiling or talkative as I can be. I was also snappy. I was truly feeling low. Anxiety was kicking my butt. This continued throughout the night and through the next day. Although by Friday night I was starting to pick up a little I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
So Friday night. The night my ex blocked me. Now I know I say ex. But I had been waiting for her for 10 weeks to get sorted and come back. That was the deal. But yeah that happened. I felt lost, foolish and idiotic. It really pushed me back down. But it also has an alternative effect. I became motivated. I became empowered.
Despite my anxiety pushing my down and life on top of me. I had a clear goal for the first time in my life. It was me and my blog. I want to be better and I want to be successful. I can’t get rid of anxiety but I plan to use it to push me forward.
Thank you for reading and thank you so much AwesomismMom for letting me be a guest.
Bearded Igor x

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