We have all heard the expression “Love is a verb” I like this phrase…when Love is portrayed in an unconditional way, which these days seems to be rare. We can’t watch any “reality” TV show these days without hearing people say ” Love you guys” I often chuckle and wonder to myself…do you really understand that word? To many of us tend to throw that word around almost like we say hello and goodbye…it really is a shame. I almost feel we have devalued the word….we tend to LOVE everything and everyone, it seems…well maybe except those who disagree with us politically, then Hate seems to be the only emotion many have. I know I sometimes throw the word love around…about “objects ” as well. While there is a place for us to love items etc….I wish many showed the same expressions of love to many in the autism community. I have discussed in previous blogs some of my frustration at the lack of attention,love and support so many in the autism community deserve.
Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally, that is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent, most often they don’t have a break from the stress, their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back. Not all autistic kids, show the emotional connection of love…I am lucky, Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words “I love you” from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it, I cherish it in a way, I can’t describe. I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. I am a worrier, all my kids tell me I manufacture things to worry about, but when it comes to Peyton these worries are very well placed. I know at times I am a “helicopter parent” this is something I need to and am working on. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally, They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. I know he feels their love and protection and in some ways it is a driving force for him, as he doesn’t want to “disappoint” their faith and support in him. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, but I also know that with Mine, Mark’s and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine. In our home we believe in the saying “Love is a Verb” and we live it. This is a driving force for me to be an Awesomism campaigner….to not only help others understand but to help others see Love truly is a verb….by going out and showing it!
Last week I saw a tweet by John Quinones for his show …” What Would You Do” and it got me thinking. He was asking for show ideas and was coming to the area of the country we happen to live in, the Southeast. I tweeted to him an idea about autism. If you have never watched this show, you should. I think one of the best things about this show is it exposes not only the hypocrisy of so many people, but really gets you thinking. I love the show because it teaches self-reflection. Too many people deflect and or excuse bad behavior with…’well they did this so I can do that’…if we all behave like that when and where will we stop bad behavior? I am hyper sensitive to bullies, being the parent of an autistic son. However; I honestly believe many people don’t even realize how much of a bully they can be. We all at one time or another have bullied, even if we don’t realize or accept it. Yet, some people feel constant name calling and disrespectful behavior can and is justified by deflecting. I used to feel sorry for these people, but I am truly getting on my last nerve with many. I remember a mom of a special need teen, on Twitter, unleashing on everyone who doesn’t agree with her politically….she also was very adamant she was never going to stop because she was angry. I thought to myself, if your child does something others don’t agree with is it acceptable to “unleash” on him? It’s truly very sad and actually pathetic.
Back to “What Would You Do” ….this show should be mandatory for students and adults to watch…not just watch but self reflect during the show….the plot lines each time, really make you think, or at least they should. My friends and kids used to tease me that if I was ever on there ( you don’t realize you are, until later) John would have to run, not walk into the spot to calm me down. I have a strong social justice button…something I learned from my Dad and my Uncle. I like to help the “Underdog” and it constantly surprises me how many times, people won’t help someone. WWYD shows situations that truly should disturb people. While I understand that people can be very hesitant to get involved in personal situations, there are times it truly seems warranted. I think the part that bothers me is when people choose to totally ignore a bad situation. I hope people who watch this show…reflect and ask themselves “Would I get involved”. As the Mom of an autistic teen, I truly would love to see People stop and understand Autism…just because someone doesn’t fit what you think they should…does that give you the right to be a bully and disrespectful? Many autistic teens and adults aren’t easily recognizable as having special needs…I can tell you this if I see you bully someone with autism, ANYWHERE TV show or not….you will see my ” social justice button be pushed” so please self reflect and answer John’ s question…what would you do….and I truly hope your answer is “Help others as I would want them to help me”
As I was thinking about what I wanted to write for this weeks blog, which also happens to be Valentine’s Day week…I knew the theme needed to be Love….but wanted it to be special…I think you will agree this blog is about someone very special…
I love the quote by Ray Johnson…” It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children and step up to the plate another man left on the table” ….Mark came into my life almost 5 years ago and I am thankful every day for him. He is the most awesome person…and an even better Dad. I love him with all my heart, but this blog isn’t about how much I love him, rather about his unconditional love for all my kids..but most of all for Peyton, and my kids unconditional love for him. When I met Mark, I knew right away he was a special person. He had a warmth about him that I truly loved. I instantly fell for him, but it wasn’t only me that he needed to “connect” with…while I wanted all my kids to “accept” him, it was imperative that he and Peyton connect. I remember the first time Peyton met him. He seemed to take to Mark immediately, not something Peyton did easily. I held my breath and thought “I hope he continues to like him”…My fears were soon calmed, Peyton not only really liked Mark…he wanted me to “go away” so he could spend time with him. All 3 of my older kids also have gotten close to Mark, and each has expressed to me on more than one occasion that they love how awesome he is with Peyton. You see My kids father, really has very little to do with any of them. His choice… and because of his behavior and treatment of them, especially Peyton, they have moved on from him. Enough about the negative as Mark has brought such a positive attitude and awesome love to our family. As I have mentioned before my third child has Marfans and was going through a very tough time when I met Mark. Our lives were in such upheaval and stress, when I met Mark, yet he didn’t shy away. In fact he did the opposite he took on the challenge and has made our lives so much better. It wasn’t easy being a single parent, but I was determined that I wasn’t going to put any man into Peyton’s life that wasn’t awesome. Mark’s presence in our lives has made all of us better people, he is such a role model and example for all of my kids…especially Peyton. His calmness, caring and positive perspective is such a blessing. Mark is an awesome example of Ray Johnson’s quote…..He didn’t just step up to the plate, he set the table!… And changed our world. I am thankful everyday for him, as are our kids…Happy Valentines Day, Mark…we love you and we all are so glad you stepped up to our “challenges” You truly are one of a kind.
Hello All….Our email Lynne@awesomismmom, had been down for a few days. If you tried to contact me and received an undeliverable notification, you can try again. Our IT staff (Mark) thinks it will work now. ..Thanks…. Lynne
I love classic tv, always have and always will. My favorite show ever is Hazel. I also love My Three Sons, Andy Griffith, The Dick Van Dyke show, Betwitched, Green Acres, Donna Reed, I Love Lucy and several more. I love being able to watch and just relax and enjoy a show. They are entertaining and relaxing. I watched Hazel as a kid and still to this day I laugh when I watch it. I would love to have spent a day with Hazel….she was funny, caring and always had an opinion on how “Mr. B” should handle issues. Her “interference” was always from her heart…..I loved the respect and support shows back then had. Maybe it was somewhat unrealistic, as they always found a “solution” for every “problem” but it was “uplifting” and comfortable. Shows back then were about supporting one another and bringing out the best in everything, not tearing each other apart and looking for weakness. Too many of the shows today focus on negative, even if they are comedy. I find it frustrating to sit through many of the shows today as they are agenda driven. People in “Hollywood” seem to decide what the rest of America needs to support and not support and then they design shows around that “agenda” and those who don’t agree are many times painted in a very unfair way. I find this frustrating and to be honest…disrespectful. Too often people’s views and behavior come from outside sources, rather than from their thoughts and common sense. People seem to be ok with this, and I am not sure why.
My frustration with this trend isn’t about politics, gender, race or religion it’s about special needs. So many in Hollywood tell us how they view just about everything, except special needs. I know there are a few shows that attempt to or do have “special needs” teens and or adults in them. However; very few represent those on the autism scale.I also see some of those “shows” showing a life where parents aren’t struggling just to put food on the table, all while dealing with the stress of an autistic child. I wish those in Hollywood would do more to create a world for them in the “public eye”; maybe just maybe it would help many of us out here who struggle daily to just survive our days without stress and meltdowns. I also find it quite frustrating that many who sit on social media screaming and berating elected officials, NEVER speak up to those in Hollywood. I have noticed on my social media networks that these often are the same people praising an actor or actress when they “voice their views” on politics….I really am getting tired of it. Maybe if more people truly put their personal agendas aside and fought for a cause..that being for families of autistic kids and adults, we would see more love and acceptance. I have voiced my opinions and welcome others to as well. Until I see those in the film and TV industry actually start understanding and supporting autism from an everyday struggle, I will continue to watch sports and classic TV, where at least I can escape all negativity and enjoy a “let’s feel better cause”.