Binge Watching

I admit I used to be one of those people who could never understand how people could binge watch a TV show. I just didn’t feel like I want to sit there for hours and watch the same show over and over… I know it would be different episodes but it still was the same list of characters etc.

We have Comcast/Xfinity in our house, and one of the channels that we watch quite a bit is.. decades TV.

Decades TV does a binge weekend each weekend… Where they run an entire show from noon on Saturday until 6 AM on Monday morning… Each and every weekend is a different show.

One particular weekend they were having a binge weekend of the Commish… I absolutely loved the show when it was on originally.

So I decided that I was going to binge watch it. Needless to say, after that, weekend I became a fan of binge watching. I know surprise surprise!

I have since binge watched a ton of different shows… On cable, Netflix, Tubi etc. etc.

I’m sure you’re wondering why am I talking about binge watching TV in a blog that is supposed to be about autism and or anxiety…

The other day I was thinking about how I couldn’t really find a show to binge watch and what I was interested in watching…. what era, drama, crime, reality or comedy etc. as I was reflecting on what I was really in the mood for, I realized in some ways binge watching TV is very similar to my life.

When I pick a show for binge watching it’s usually because it suits whatever kind of mood I am at that time.

As I’ve spoken about many times in different blogs I have GAD… General anxiety disorder.

When I’m extremely anxious and/ or having anxiety attacks.. I tend to hyperfocus on something in my life. It can be where I’m really stressing about a particular situation that I’ve either just been in, or about to go into… It can be about work, it can be about my kids… It can be about health, it can be about something that’s gonna happen a year from now or something I want to have happen.

The point is, I get myself so worked up and I sit an hyperfocus/stress/feel super anxious about this situation.

It’s not always because I want to, it’s because of my GAD.

When we are binge watching TV shows we become so hyper focused on that particular situation of a show.

I remember back in the olden days… Ha ha I’m 59 years old… When I was young soap operas were super popular. Many stay at home moms sat and watched soap operas during the day, and they became so focused on the shows that sometimes they believe that the actor or actress, were really that person in real life.

I’m by no means saying everyone who watched it believed that, but there were some.

Just like nowadays we become so connected to celebrities, pro athletes, musicians and reality TV stars… That sometimes we feel like because we see them on TV, in the movies, on social media etc. we know them personally we start focusing on their lives.

This is how I can be when I am really consumed with my GAD.. I start believing that my anxiety, my fears, my stress are real.

When I had that epiphany the other day, I suddenly realized I need to use my binge watching of shows almost as a Learning experience for me… To remember just as I can turn off the binge watching, I can get up and walk away… I need to turn off my hyper stress and refocus myself to other things in my life…

Even though I thought binge watching was silly… now I can honestly say I’m kind of glad I did it… And still do! I have learned a life lesson from it.

As always, thanks for reading my blog and have an awesome day!

Throwback: Reflect Not Deflect

I thought this was a good Throwback Thursday Blog….. I see so much hate and Bullying daily about EVERYTHING! I wish people would take time to reflect… spread kindness.. respect others OPINIONS… and look at themselves and ask are they being kind? are they being Hypocrites? people have a right to disagree, without being labeled and libeled……

 

 

Sunday night in the middle of the night my oldest son started texting me, I kept hearing Luke Combs text tone over and over. You see I have one of his ringtones attached to my son’s number. Luke is my favorite country singer and my son reminds me of him. As much as I love hearing Luke’s songs, I wasn’t happy that my son was texting over and over so late.

I grabbed my phone to see what was so important. Of course as soon as I read his texts, my heart broke. He was letting me know about the senseless murder of people at a Country Music fest, which Luke Combs actually happened to be performing at.

I thought to myself once again Hate rears it’s despicable head. I started watching the news and looking on social media, another coward had decided to shoot innocent people. I will never understand how people can be so full of hate.

I felt so helpless and full of hurt as I watched the footage. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I laid in bed watching classic TV to try to calm down. I knew I was going to need to talk with Peyton when he woke up, about once again about how evil people can be. I feel like I am always having this discussion.

We have talked with him about bullies and people who choose to deflect their issues rather than reflect, but mass shootings aren’t easy to explain. Peyton is very sweet and gentle and doesn’t understand why people are so mean.

I really don’t have words for this latest display of hateful violence. Daily I see people attacking each other on twitter because they disagree. I started calling it slanderous bullying.

Peyton has asked me several times why people have to be so mean just because they don’t like who someone voted for. I’ve tried to explain to him that many times people take it as a personal attack against their views,rather than everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I really am on my last nerve with some of the offensive & slanderous “name tags” being put on people.

It’s a bit puzzling to me how people can sit on social media and name call, finger point and make “threats” then say they disdain bullies. This justification of anything goes because someone else said something you disagree with HAS TO STOP!

My prayer and hope is that people look inside of themselves, instead of deflect.

We can’t control what others say & do, but we can control ourselves.

If we choose to not play the game of verbal violence, maybe just maybe others will stop as well. Let’s all make a vow to tone down the rhetoric. While words are only words, they can lead to more.

I hope we can return good for evil, reflect not deflect, open our hearts and minds, disagree with respect and support causes not agendas! While this won’t stop evil, it’s a great start and we need to start somewhere because if we don’t I am not sure what will happen.

Love is a Verb

Love is a verb… I love this phrase when love is portrayed in an unconditional way, these days it seems to be rare!
Love is something we really tend to reflect on during the Holidays season!

Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally. That is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent. Most often they don’t have a break from the stress. Their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back always.

Not all autistic kids share the emotion, no connection of love, however; many do… it isn’t true that most don’t show Love…

That said I consider myself lucky. Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words I love you from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it I cherish it in a way I can’t describe.

I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally. They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, But I also know that with mine, marks and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine.

Love can be shown in so many different ways… it isn’t always just by saying it. It can be by doing even the smallest gestures…

In our home we believe in the saying “love is a verb” and we live it! I would love to hear from you… You’re awesome stories about how love is a verb in your life.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog…

Hope you are enjoying our 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays!

Have an awesome day

It’s Navy-Army Game day!

This is one of the best college football days of the year! Army Navy Game! These young men and women who choose to serve our country are some of the best our Country has to offer! I am a HUGE fan of our Military Academies! This is a game where there are really no losers, as they each are winners in many ways!

Having said that, we are HUGE USNA fans in our home. My oldest son’s Godfather went to the Naval Academy and played football there. My son is named after him and my father, who also served in the Navy! So while we love the Army… today we are all GO NAVY BEAT ARMY!!!

Hope everyone has an awesome day and may the best team (Navy) win! USA USA USA USA!!

 

Throwback: My hero by Peyton

I thought since we are doing the 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays… and it is Throwback Thursday…. what better time than now to bring out this blog from 4 years ago! The Holidays are a time that we reflect on the things that we are thankful for… People we love… and what unites us! I think this blog is truly a great example of all those things. Every once in awhile someone comes into your life, that truly makes a difference. Everett Dawkins is one such person. I hope you enjoy this blog… and as always, thanks for reading and Hope everyone has an awesome day!

 

 

 

I’m 16, I’m autistic, and I love sports. 2 of my most favorite sports are Football and Basketball.

My favorite teams in NFL are Chicago Bears, Dallas Cowboys and Tampa Bay Buccaneers. My favorite teams in NBA are Chicago Bulls, Dallas Mavericks, Orlando Magic and Golden State Warriors. My favorite Colleges are Florida State Seminoles and Texas A&M Aggies.

I always cheer for FSU because all of my family are FSU fans. My cousins, Troy and Jodie both went to FSU. I cheer for Texas A&M because that’s where my stepdad, Mark got his master’s
degree. I do sometimes cheer for TCU because Mark’s dad went there.

My favorite team is FSU football, I am very lucky because I have a buddy who went to FSU. He played football for FSU and later became a pro and played for several teams in NFL, Everett Dawkins, also known as Big E. We call him Big E because he is huge and hard as a rock. He talks to me on E-mail, text messages and Twitter. He always remembers my Birthday, and that means a lot to me.

I also know Daniel Glauser, who also went to FSU and played football. He also follows and talks to me on Twitter, he is my friend. Both Everett and Daniel are very nice and they would never treat me like I’m autistic.

Although, I don’t have many friends because I’m autistic, and I don’t talk very well, but Everett thinks I’m cool, and he really cares about me. Everett teaches himself how to become a better player in Football. Everett started the foundation called Underdog Kids.

I am currently working on a book for it, and it’s about what is like to be an underdog. The book is also about me and my youth group when we went bowling.

Everett makes me feel safe, and he is like a big brother to me. Everett teaches me that it’s okay to be different and to be an underdog. He encourages me to exercise because I needed to get stronger and have more energy.

On October 5th, I went to the Fall Festival, and I won the medal for the horse race, because I ran fast, I’ve been exercising for a year so that I have more energy. Everett taught me that I may not be great at talking or sports, but I matter.

I love Everett because he makes me feel like I can do anything, even though I am autistic. Many people want to be friends with him, because he plays football and is so nice, but he chooses to be friends with me.

When something good happens and I tell him, he always makes a big deal out of it. I am so happy he chose to be friends with me and my family!

I’m glad he started the Underdog Kids because it will help kids feel better about themselves. I hope that it becomes really big so lots of kids can get support. I wish more Sport stars were so nice and cared about Autism and would help autistic kids. I am so glad Everett does, because he made a big difference in my life.