A LOVEly Garden

I absolutely love gardens, I have quite a few of them at my home… My favorite one that I started this year is a large wild flower garden.

I am much more interested in starting my garden from seeds and bulbs than I am going and buying flowers and planting them.

There’s something magical about planting the seeds/bulbs and watching them grow… It always amazes me how just a little seed, that you can barely see.. Can turn into something so beautiful and so amazing.

 

Nature for me is very calming, I not only love to have flowers in my gardens, but I also love to have cut flowers in my home. There is something so beautiful and uplifting about see beautiful flowers all around. I especially love it in the winter when it is cold, and in the summer when it honestly is almost too hot to go outside.

Many times we associate flowers with love… You see pictures of flowers when you’ll see people promoting love, or you see flowers on greeting cards… when you are sending them to somebody that you love.

Many of our most prominent “love” holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day etc. we really promote sending flowers… To someone to make them feel special.

With everything going on in the world right now… All the anger, all the hate… so many people just telling other people what to think, and how to feel and what to do… I’ve seen people point blank say if you don’t say this, you’re no longer my friend… That’s hurtful because we are all individuals and we all express ourselves differently.

This is especially upsetting to me because Peyton… Being an autistic adult, doesn’t always use words in the way that other people use them… He has seen some of this on social media, and it’s really hurt his heart.

The other day when I was outside in my garden looking at all the beauty and just trying to sit there and calm down… I thought you know we take these tiny little seeds and these bulbs and we plant them in soil, and we nourish them and we water them etc. etc. and they grow into these beautiful flowers.

Wouldn’t it be really awesome, if we as humans, stopped for a few minutes and realized that instead of planting seeds of anger and hatred and distrust… We stopped and listened to one another truly listened… Each one of us has a different life experience, and we can learn so much from that by sharing with others… truly sharing and listening and opening our hearts.

Imagine if we all decided to plant the seeds of love… Of listening… Of compassion… Of understanding… How much better we would feel… How much better we would be… And how much more beautiful the world would be!

I challenge each of you.. every time you see a flower.. to think about where can YOU plant that seed of love,acceptance, understanding, compassion and listening.

Together we can do better, together we can be better,but most of all together we can grow into something beautiful.

As always thanks so much for reading my blog!

Have an awesome and beautiful day!

My Anyway Friend

“ My anyway friend” I heard that term for the first time in December… I was laying in bed for several days binge watching the show, Private Practice…It’s not like me to basically stay in bed for a few days.

This time I had a really good reason.. I’m trying to work my way through my grief. One of my oldest and dearest friends… Passed away suddenly… I know for a fact she’s in a better place because Lisa lived her faith, Walked her faith and shared her faith.

I love the definition of an “anyway friend”… They know everything about you and they love you anyway… That was Lisa to a T!

Lisa didn’t have the easiest of lives, but she made the best of everything she had. She was a friend that everyone wants, an few are blessed to have.

I could give 100 stories of who Lisa was, but I’m gonna give you my favorite…

10+ years ago I was going through a really difficult divorce, I was a single parent of four kids …one being autistic… I was trying to work 40/50 hours a week,on top of many other things, but I hit my wall.

I was having a really rough time emotionally and mentally. I was living in Northern Virginia at the time, and Lisa was still in Florida… That’s where we had become friends.

I called her and told her that I was going to be coming home to Florida, to see the doctor.

I asked her if she would please meet me at the doctors office… Because I was afraid to go alone, she said no she was busy. This really hurt my feelings, because it wasn’t the way Lisa was. I reminded myself she was going through her own divorce.. so even though it hurt me, I knew she must have had a good reason.

I drove home and I went to see the doctor… That’s when I was diagnosed with GAD… General Anxiety Disorder.

After some time with the doctor, I walked out into the lobby… I felt a little better, because I felt like I knew what was wrong with me, and now I had to fix it.

There was Lisa standing in the lobby. I burst into tears and said I can’t believe you’re here. She said I’ve been sitting in the parking lot across the street for two hours. I wanted to make sure that you were going to come to the appointment, if you didn’t I was going to go find you and drag you here.

She then went on to say, I also knew that if I met you here, you would look at me as your safe haven… Your rock…and you would talk yourself out of going in and getting the help you needed.

She was 100% correct! she knew me like the back of her hand. That’s who Lisa was. She was my rock… she kicked me in the butt when I needed it, and she loved me unconditionally.

I miss her so much words can’t express. She was an amazing woman, mother, grandmother… Sister… Daughter.. but most of all she was my “anyway friend”.

She truly was that friend who knew everything about you, the good, the bad and the ugly and loved you anyway. She didn’t just talk it, she walked it… just like her faith. I would give anything to have 30 minutes with her again.

I wanted to write this blog and put it out on Valentine’s Day… Because she will always be in my heart. I miss you lees.. and I love you…

Until we see each other again, I promise I will be as awesome of an “anyway friend” to others as you were to me…❤️💔

Love is a Verb

Love is a verb… I love this phrase when love is portrayed in an unconditional way, these days it seems to be rare!
Love is something we really tend to reflect on during the Holidays season!

Almost all parents will and should tell you that they love their kids unconditionally. That is what gets you through the rough patches. All parents go through tough times, but many in the autism community go through rough patches much more often. This can be very tough, especially when a parent is a single parent. Most often they don’t have a break from the stress. Their unconditional love is truly tested. I think one of the hardest parts for some parents is that the love isn’t given back always.

Not all autistic kids share the emotion, no connection of love, however; many do… it isn’t true that most don’t show Love…

That said I consider myself lucky. Peyton says he loves me and shows love. He loves others as well, and for this I am so thankful. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to never hear the words I love you from my children. Although, Peyton says it and means it I cherish it in a way I can’t describe.

I love all my kids the same, but Peyton has a special place in my heart. One of my greatest joys is seeing how much my older kids truly love Peyton unconditionally. They celebrate his positives and hurt when he hurts. Life isn’t always easy for any of us, but for Peyton it’s tougher, But I also know that with mine, marks and my older kids unconditional love he will be just fine.

Love can be shown in so many different ways… it isn’t always just by saying it. It can be by doing even the smallest gestures…

In our home we believe in the saying “love is a verb” and we live it! I would love to hear from you… You’re awesome stories about how love is a verb in your life.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog…

Hope you are enjoying our 45 Awesomism Days of the Holidays!

Have an awesome day

The Park Bench

I wrote this piece several years ago for my book… I read it every so often and I remind myself it will be Okay.

There are times I really do worry about what is going to happen to Peyton, after I am gone… After my husband is gone… I know he has three older siblings, and I know they love him unconditionally… But I still worry.

I worry that I’m not giving him enough in his life… There’s so many things parents of adult children with autism, worry about… We don’t always talk about them… But they are very real and in our mind, and in our thoughts and in our hearts…

When I get really stressed about it, I read this piece… And I remind myself Peyton is not alone… Rather he is surrounded in love, and I have that faith that whether I’m here or gone… That love Will stay around him.

I can only do what I can do and plan for his future.Stressing isn’t going to help…planning is.

So as we celebrate this holiday season and we come to the end of the year where we all make our New Year’s resolutions… Let’s each and everyone of us pause, and realize what is the most important… That we are there for those who need us, and we surround them with love.

I see a park bench alone, no one pays attention to it. It reminds me of my son… You see my child is autistic, he fights battles every day I can’t even imagine. As I see the park bench all alone even though there are people everywhere.. I realize how my son must feel. Connecting with others isn’t always easy for him, my heart hurts… But I also become more determined to help him. I look around me and I see the beauty of nature that surrounds the bench. It soothes me and heals me… There are so many wonderful things about nature… I am re-invigorated as I walk away from the park bench. I look back at it sitting empty, I stop and smile… As children run up to it and compete to all sit on the bench. It’s at that moment, that I suddenly realize my son will be fine… as he really isn’t alone… He has us, and we love him unconditionally.. We see his strengths.

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog and for following us on our 45 Awesomism days of the holidays. Without everyone’s support we wouldn’t be able to accomplish the things that we are. I hope you’re enjoying it and we look forward to “talking” to you again tomorrow!

have an awesome day

Spread Kindness!

We have all heard the expression you can’t take care of others, if you don’t take care of yourself.

This is true for so many reasons. I think during the holidays it is especially necessary that we make sure that we take care of ourselves. We get so caught up in the gift buying, the decorating, the Christmas parties, the open houses, the events, Family coming to visit or going to see family etc. etc.…

I’m probably one of the few people who actually enjoys going to the mall at this time of the year or to stores. I find it In a way comforting… I know that sounds really strange but I do… Part of the reason why I love going to the mall and/ or stores that are packed, it allows me to spread kindness… I will smile at people, if people need help getting something off the shelf, I’ll try to help them etc.etc….. Showing Kindness, not just saying it!

We so often see people frazzled and stressed… Sometimes just a smile or a kind word or a positive affirmation  can make all the difference in someone’s life.

I find that when people are at their most stressed, doing the holidays shopping, going out an about…. dealing with the every day stressors of the holiday season… Spreading kindness and spreading Love by going to the mall and or‘s stores that are packed… and showing that you care is easier!

This isn’t to say that I’m not stressed, and I don’t have anxiety attacks during the holidays… I definitely do. I also know that when I go out and about and I do try to spread kindness… By smiling spreading a kind word etc. etc. it also lifts my mood.

I have to confess another reason why I really enjoy it when it’s so crowded, is because when stores, especially small businesses have customers it helps everyone!… This may seem silly, but I truly love when businesses do better, because it makes peoples lives easier. Sometimes people can pick up a full-time job… Rather than two or three part-time jobs and that allows them more time to be home with their family …

By looking at the positives in life… We can make our emotional and mental health better as well. Too often we allow peoples words or their lack of happiness to affect us… I know I was guilty of this in the last week or two… But then I had several people come to me and tell me how much I meant to them, and how my kindness got them through some of the roughest times.I decided I wasn’t going to let negative people pull me down, rather I was going to make sure, that I kept pulling people up.

I know for a fact my moods have direct connection to Peyton’s mood, as well as my other kids and my spouse. We sometimes don’t realize that our moods can and do flow over onto others, we come in contact with, as well.

I try very hard to be conscience of this… not always successfully… but I try!

So let’s all try real hard to remember taking care of ourselves is very important! because how we react and interact… spreads to so many!

Thanks for reading my blog!