No place like home for the Holidays


I absolutely love my husband… To me he is the best husband on this planet. Being married to an oil guy means you have absolutely no set schedule. You live according to an “oil schedule” Which is just fine with me. I miss him when he’s gone, but our love is stronger than distance.

My husband was supposed to be home a week and a half before Thanksgiving… That didn’t work out… He got home on Thanksgiving day. We decided to have Thanksgiving with our third child, who lives close, on Sunday… We watched football and relaxed, on Thanksgiving. 🦃

I had this feeling that he wasn’t going to be able to be home when he thought he would be. I decided that I was going to decorate the whole house… Mind you we have 4100 ft.²… For Christmas, before he came home.

I usually have a rule that I don’t start putting any Christmas decorations up until Thanksgiving is over… I love Thanksgiving, it’s one of my favorite holidays and I don’t like to dismiss it, by having Christmas stuff up. This year I made an exception!

I wanted to make sure, that if my husband didn’t make it home for Christmas… That he still got to enjoy Christmas in our home. I absolutely positively love decorating… Very few people know this about me, but my background is interior design.…Even though I chose not to pursue it professionally, after college.

I love designing and decorating my own home. The holidays to me are like an empty canvas and I get to paint with passion and love. I go all out. This year was no exception. In fact this year I went above and beyond what I have done for the last five years combined.

I put a 7 foot plus tree in our sitting room… And I decorated it with all little white lights and lots of gold, silver with angels, beautiful ribbon etc. the rest of the room was decorated the same.

I did the lights down the staircase with Garland swags and bows… In our office I did our sports Christmas tree!  Each room in the house has a different theme.

Our family room and kitchen I put our family Christmas tree… And that was decorated with the ornaments that we’ve collected over the years from our children and family ornaments. Multicolored lights on the tree & fireplace.The fireplace has the garland and the stockings 

I must admit when I was all done, even though it was a lot of work, I loved it. I loved it even more when Mark walk through the door and I could see by the smile on his face, and that twinkle in his eyes how much he loved it!

As I said at the beginning of this blog my hubby is awesome. Doing things like this for him makes me happy.  He not only is an awesome husband… He is an amazing stepfather… He’s actually their dad. Peyton and my older kids all absolutely adore him.

Peyton helped me decorate the whole house… He loves the lights part,  which is so awesome for me because I get so frustrated when the light to get all tangled up! He has the patience of a saint.  😂🎄

In fact Peyton  even wrote a blog about why he loves Christmas lights so much! https://teamawesomism.com/merry-awesomism-christmas/

My hubby works very hard… He never complains… So making his Holidays a little bit better by having the house cozy, loving and festive is the least I can do. My goal was to have Mark feel ” There is no place home for the Holidays” I think I achieved that! I know he felt the love In every Christmas decoration! ❤️🎄❤️

Red-Angry Blue-Sad

We are so honored to have an amazing blogger as our guest blogger this week! She’s an amazing mom… Who openly discusses her life. My hope is that after you read her blog… You come away with the same emotions/thoughts  that I did.. we need more mental health help!!! People need to stop talking and start doing.. this is not a political issue, this is a human issue! Please check out her other blogs here http://thoughtswithn.blogspot.com/

Also, We have her books for sale on our website https://teamawesomism.com/

 

I remember the day that I saw a piece of work completed by my oldest son. He was 6 at the time. His class was learning about emotions, and had them associated with colors. The piece of paper asked them to identify the 2 emotions they most commonly feel, and draw it in the associated color. His was Red – Angry, and Blue- Sad.

 

I remember the tears that sprung to my eyes. The feeling of failure I felt. My little boy was always angry at this point.

 

I had always struggled with him, since the beginning, but now it was at a new high. The Police were now involved, as he had begun threatening his baby sister.

 

Oh, and I was 6 months pregnant. I had high blood pressure, so I was supposed to be relaxing.

 

There, in front of me lay the evidence of the state of my sons mental health. He was so angry, and so sad. He didn`t know what to say, or how to say it, so his anger dragged on, day after day.

 

This was such a hard time for all of us. I have scars on me from his intense temper, and I am pretty sure my daughter is emotionally scarred.

 

Despite struggling for so many years, and trying to get him help, I had failed. The counsellor agreed that this paper was slightly alarming for a little boy, and sent off the papers for a Psychiatric Assessment.

 

We waited.

 

We waited.

 

Months and months went by. While my son struggled.

 

So many days I just wanted to run away and disappear. I questioned my capabilities of being a mother. I questioned how I was going to raise another boy. I have never in my life felt so lost as what I did at this time.

 

To be honest, I am not even sure how we all made it through. Maybe it is just the power of love. I one day told my son very clearly, I know you are angry, and I will be here whenever you are ready to talk, but there is not anything you can do to me to make me stop loving you, or to make me give up on you. You are my son.

 

We got the call for the assessment a year after the referral was placed. A YEAR. A family in a crisis situation, and such a sad and confused little boy.

 

We declined the assessment at this point, because he had already been through three and he was tired of doing it. No one saw what we saw. His intense temper. His neediness for everything to be a very specific way. His amazing abilities with numbers, and recognizing patterns. No one saw it. They always just told us, he is a very bright boy.

 

I decided, rather than trying to change him, I was going to accept him. Accept him exactly how he is.

 

He is almost 8 now. I can`t believe so much time has passed since my feelings of hopelessness. He is in Grade 2 and an intense math whiz. He still struggles with his temper, but he is far less violent.

 

Now he talks to me. He tells me what is wrong. Then we can figure out how to fix it.

 

You may not always be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I sure didn`t when I was locked in my room, trying to protect the baby in my belly, and my 1 year old daughter. I could not see any light in my life what so ever. I wanted to run away.

 

The light is there. It will shine.

 

Love

N 💜

Blessed Easter Weekend

Have a beautiful Good Friday and a Very Blessed Easter Weekend! There is nothing more beautiful than Unconditional Love! Let’s vow to spread Love to Everyone!

Love, Understanding & Laughter 💙


They say “Laughter is the best medicine” and in some cases I think this is true. I know I have had a bad headache and really laughed and it helped my headache. I tend to laugh a lot, One of the things I Love most about Mark is he makes me really laugh. My older three kids also laugh a lot, especially my daughter. She and I have been known to laugh at basically nothing and keep laughing, even though we aren’t sure why. Some of my favorite memories are when my kids were really laughing together and “being kids”.  We all love to see our kids be happy and enjoying what life has to offer. This isn’t always so easy with autism. This isn’t to say they don’t smile or laugh, as some laugh uncontrollably and this as well can alarm parents.

Peyton does smile and he also laughs, however he doesn’t laugh at the frequency or level,most kids his age do. He is somewhat shy, as is my third child, but even when he is truly happy he doesn’t “express it” like my older kids do. This really hit me a couple of Sunday’s ago. Peyton’s brother Preston made him an awesome computer. I knew he really loved it because he talked about it a lot to me. He thanked Preston several times and uses it all the time. Preston asked me if Peyton really liked it, I told how much he uses it. Preston was very happy to hear that. He said to me he thought he did, but Peyton didn’t say a lot to him. My older kids understand and accept that Peyton doesn’t always express himself. I can’t tell you how much that means to me that they understand and accept Peyton as he is! I know they love him unconditionally and will do anything for him. I also know that Peyton isn’t going to be understood or accepted by everyone. This isn’t to say we are all liked by everyone, because we aren’t. My point is though that Peyton has had situations where people are mean to him because he “acts different”  this hurts my heart, and it also angers me. Part of why I became an autism activist was to help others understand Peyton and other autistic kids and adults.

I am a firm believer that love, understanding and acceptance of Peyton is by far the best “medicine” for him. When he feels comfortable around people he talks more, is relaxed and yes, even laughs! My hope is that those who aren’t around autistic kids and adults, will educate themselves on how to interact with them. I always appreciate it when people reach out to me and ask questions, it shows they care and want to understand. Many autistic adults have enough stress in their daily lives, so every little thing that can lower that stress is awesome! My hope is that others take the time to understand Autism. I also hope those close to autistic kids and adults, shower them with unconditional love. I know with Peyton when these things happen, I see him enjoying life more! Nothing warms my heart more than hearing Peyton laugh!

Find your Inner strength

I have been asked many times, how I dealt with being a single parent of four, especially since one is autistic and one has Marfans. My response is pretty much the same every time…I didn’t have a Choice. I love my kids with all my heart, and want what is best for them. To me, I honestly felt like it was what it was and no crying, whining etc… Was ever going to change it. This doesn’t mean I didn’t have really rough patches, I did. I also knew it was on my shoulders to be my kid’s parent. Life is made up of a series of events both positive and negative and how we deal with them and learn from them is what will determine what our future will be. I’ve seen too many people who love the “drama” in their life, in fact some even invite it. They don’t really want solutions, they want bandages . I know at times I have been guilty of not facing an issue head on at the start, and then having to deal with more in the end to fix the issue. When I do this I get really frustrated with myself. I know for a fact I am harder on my self than anyone else could ever be. I can be a terrible procrastinator , that is by far one of my worst traits. It is something I need to work on. The funny thing is I either procrastinate or go like a hundred miles an hour to get things done. I know I tend to put things off when I am super stressed, it’s like I can’t add one more thing to my plate.

I do see some of these traits in Peyton, and I am trying to work with him to handle his stresses, which aren’t always easy for him. Peyton has a very sweet nature and it really hurts me to see him stressed and hurting. Simple tasks sometimes can be overwhelming for him. It’s very frustrating for him, especially when he’s done the task before without issue. He knows he can do it, but it’s like his brain tells him no. My heart breaks when I see him cry out of frustration. I try very hard as his mom to encourage him and be a cheerleader, and  at the same time that I guide him through his stressful situation. Peyton and I talk about his “inner strength” and how he needs to try to stay calm and overcome life’s issues. Life isn’t easy for most of us, we all have obstacles we face. Difference is many of us have solutions that can solve the issues, and then we can move on. Peyton faces obstacles everyday and yet he next to never complains. So forgive me if I lose my patience with those who invite and enjoy the drama. If Peyton can deal with everything life throws at him by digging into his “inner strength” so can most of us!