I have been asked many times, how I dealt with being a single parent of four, especially since one is autistic and one has Marfans. My response is pretty much the same every time…I didn’t have a Choice. I love my kids with all my heart, and want what is best for them. To me, I honestly felt like it was what it was and no crying, whining etc… Was ever going to change it. This doesn’t mean I didn’t have really rough patches, I did. I also knew it was on my shoulders to be my kid’s parent. Life is made up of a series of events both positive and negative and how we deal with them and learn from them is what will determine what our future will be. I’ve seen too many people who love the “drama” in their life, in fact some even invite it. They don’t really want solutions, they want bandages . I know at times I have been guilty of not facing an issue head on at the start, and then having to deal with more in the end to fix the issue. When I do this I get really frustrated with myself. I know for a fact I am harder on my self than anyone else could ever be. I can be a terrible procrastinator , that is by far one of my worst traits. It is something I need to work on. The funny thing is I either procrastinate or go like a hundred miles an hour to get things done. I know I tend to put things off when I am super stressed, it’s like I can’t add one more thing to my plate.
I do see some of these traits in Peyton, and I am trying to work with him to handle his stresses, which aren’t always easy for him. Peyton has a very sweet nature and it really hurts me to see him stressed and hurting. Simple tasks sometimes can be overwhelming for him. It’s very frustrating for him, especially when he’s done the task before without issue. He knows he can do it, but it’s like his brain tells him no. My heart breaks when I see him cry out of frustration. I try very hard as his mom to encourage him and be a cheerleader, and at the same time that I guide him through his stressful situation. Peyton and I talk about his “inner strength” and how he needs to try to stay calm and overcome life’s issues. Life isn’t easy for most of us, we all have obstacles we face. Difference is many of us have solutions that can solve the issues, and then we can move on. Peyton faces obstacles everyday and yet he next to never complains. So forgive me if I lose my patience with those who invite and enjoy the drama. If Peyton can deal with everything life throws at him by digging into his “inner strength” so can most of us!
Sunday night in the middle of the night my oldest son started texting me, I kept hearing Luke Combs text tone over and over. You see I have one of his ringtones attached to my son’s number. Luke is my favorite country singer and my son reminds me of him. As much as I love hearing Luke’s songs, I wasn’t happy that my son was texting over and over so late. I grabbed my phone to see what was so important. Of course as soon as I read his texts, my heart broke. He was letting me know about the senseless murder of people at a Country Music fest, which Luke Combs actually happened to be performing at.I thought to myself once again Hate rears it’s despicable head. I started watching the news and looking on social media, another coward had decided to shoot innocent people. I will never understand how people can be so full of hate.
I felt so helpless and full of hurt as I watched the footage. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I laid in bed watching classic TV to try to calm down. I knew I was going to need to talk with Peyton when he woke up, about once again about how evil people can be. I feel like I am always having this discussion. We have talked with him about bullies and people who choose to deflect their issues rather than reflect, but mass shootings aren’t easy to explain. Peyton is very sweet and gentle and doesn’t understand why people are so mean.
I really don’t have words for this latest display of hateful violence. Daily I see people attacking each other on twitter because they disagree. I started calling it slanderous bullying. Peyton has asked me several times why people have to be so mean just because they don’t like who someone voted for. I’ve tried to explain to him that many times people take it as a personal attack against their views,rather than everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I really am on my last nerve with some of the offensive & slanderous “name tags” being put on people.
It’s a bit puzzling to me how people can sit on social media and name call, finger point and make “threats” then say they disdain bullies. This justification of anything goes because someone else said something you disagree with HAS TO STOP! My prayer and hope is that people look inside of themselves instead of deflect. We can’t control what others say & do, but we can control ourselves. If we choose to not play the game of verbal violence, maybe just maybe others will stop as well. Let’s all make a vow to tone down the rhetoric. While words are only words, they can lead to more.
I hope we can return good for evil, reflect not deflect, open our hearts and minds, disagree with respect and support causes not agendas! While this won’t stop evil, it’s a great start and we need to start somewhere because if we don’t I am not sure what will happen.