Anxiety and Me

We are so honored to have an awesome guest blogger this week! His name is Jay Cator… He blogs about a lot of interesting subjects. I asked him to share his journey with anxiety, with us! I absolutely love this blog, and I hope you do as well! Check out his contact information at the end of the blog! Please give him a follow and show support. Thanks for reading 💜

 

 

Anxiety, a word I have only ever heard at a distance. I never knew what it meant or how it effected people. I’ve always been different to others around me. Ever since I was a late teen, I over thought everything, even to the point where I would cancel plans to stay at home, in my safe place. I worry about every situation, by far my biggest flaw. I have always thought negative of myself and when certain scenarios popped up that could effect my life, the negative always won. I faced rejection constantly. I always shake at confrontation and avoided any situation that could lead me to the slightest harm.

Relationships and friendships followed in similar pattern. Dating I would face rejection at the first hurdle, bad first dates and hate. When I successfully find someone, I was felt like I was not good enough. Like they could do better, have someone who would give them a better life. I would worry constantly. Friends would come and go. The ones who leave I would never hear from again. Used for my kindness and care, it something I got used to.

My world change however when I met my last partner, someone who had anxiety and suddenly I understood. She opened my eyes to what anxiety was. I looked it up and spoke to a doctor and boom. Everything I thought was just me, a character flaw, was all explained. Unfortunately we split recently, more a break as we deal with various issues. But without her I would still be thinking, “why am I so different?” It all made sense. Why I have been, who I have been, has been explained.

I have always had ways of stopping me thinking, stop me worrying about every situation. I would play Xbox, using them to zone myself out into a different world. If that didn’t work, I sit in the corner, headphones in listening to my favourite songs. More recently, I have started writing, which has lead to my blog. Seeing people reading what I have to say and positivity has helped me massively recently. I start to feel I can achieve something, I’m not a failure, I can get better. I also find that following my favourite sports helps.

I have some really close friends that have helped me all these years and I feel very lucky that they are all still there. They all support me in different ways. My family are also a big support for me. I have love around me. I am truly lucky to have this support network, that will never be underestimated.

My biggest advice? Every day is different, so take life as it is every day. Find what comforts you, no matter how big or how small. When you get a victory, no matter how small, celebrate it. Shout it out to the world.

Thank you AwesomismMom for inviting me to write about me. I am honoured. Thank you all for taking the time to read.

Please follow and support Jay!

Blog: http://beardedigor.wordpress.com

Twitter: @stealthemgaming

Be Positive! A Sunday Truth

There is enough negativity in the world. Too many people just want to complain and be negative. That’s the easy route. Start each day focusing on the positives in the world… you may just be pleasantly surprised. Peyton has taught me so many lessons, one being… life is only as tough as you think it is!

Love, Understanding & Laughter 💙


They say “Laughter is the best medicine” and in some cases I think this is true. I know I have had a bad headache and really laughed and it helped my headache. I tend to laugh a lot, One of the things I Love most about Mark is he makes me really laugh. My older three kids also laugh a lot, especially my daughter. She and I have been known to laugh at basically nothing and keep laughing, even though we aren’t sure why. Some of my favorite memories are when my kids were really laughing together and “being kids”.  We all love to see our kids be happy and enjoying what life has to offer. This isn’t always so easy with autism. This isn’t to say they don’t smile or laugh, as some laugh uncontrollably and this as well can alarm parents.

Peyton does smile and he also laughs, however he doesn’t laugh at the frequency or level,most kids his age do. He is somewhat shy, as is my third child, but even when he is truly happy he doesn’t “express it” like my older kids do. This really hit me a couple of Sunday’s ago. Peyton’s brother Preston made him an awesome computer. I knew he really loved it because he talked about it a lot to me. He thanked Preston several times and uses it all the time. Preston asked me if Peyton really liked it, I told how much he uses it. Preston was very happy to hear that. He said to me he thought he did, but Peyton didn’t say a lot to him. My older kids understand and accept that Peyton doesn’t always express himself. I can’t tell you how much that means to me that they understand and accept Peyton as he is! I know they love him unconditionally and will do anything for him. I also know that Peyton isn’t going to be understood or accepted by everyone. This isn’t to say we are all liked by everyone, because we aren’t. My point is though that Peyton has had situations where people are mean to him because he “acts different”  this hurts my heart, and it also angers me. Part of why I became an autism activist was to help others understand Peyton and other autistic kids and adults.

I am a firm believer that love, understanding and acceptance of Peyton is by far the best “medicine” for him. When he feels comfortable around people he talks more, is relaxed and yes, even laughs! My hope is that those who aren’t around autistic kids and adults, will educate themselves on how to interact with them. I always appreciate it when people reach out to me and ask questions, it shows they care and want to understand. Many autistic adults have enough stress in their daily lives, so every little thing that can lower that stress is awesome! My hope is that others take the time to understand Autism. I also hope those close to autistic kids and adults, shower them with unconditional love. I know with Peyton when these things happen, I see him enjoying life more! Nothing warms my heart more than hearing Peyton laugh!